If You Were Me
by ForTheWin04
Summary: Jealousy can be hard to swallow. I just wish I had known that. Sam/Freddie. AU
1. One

**A.N: PLEASE READ: Here is my new story. This one is going to take me a while to write, but it will be very different from my other stories. I'm planning it out, and writing...re-writing, and overall making sure its perfect. I don't know how often it will be updated, but it make take a bit because I want to make sure everything is right. **

**This story is a little AU. The characters and their personalities will mostly stay the same. Except for maybe a calmer and less vicious Sam, and a braver, more outspoken Freddie. And in this story, Sam and Freddie don't know Carly right at the beginning, but trust me they will meet her.**

**The actual web show iCarly doesn't exist. You'd think if they didn't know Carly, they wouldn't have the show. **

**I hope this story will be as good as I planed it to be. I want it to be the right mix of humour and drama. So it's not over dramatic, but it's not corny either. **

**This chapter isn't very exciting. Nothing really happens. It's just setting up the story. I really wanted it to show you Sam and Freddie's friendship, and how it's different from how it is in the show. They are a lot closer here, and joke around a lot. But it's all harmless. **

**The whole story will be in Sam's POV. So it probably won't ever be announced. You'll just know.**

**Disclaimer: Dan Schneider owns iCarly, not me. Sorry. **

**Okay, without further rambling...my new story!**

**If You Were Me**

_**By: ForTheWin04**_

**Chapter One: Prologue**

My blond hair bounced in the wind behind me as I walked down the damp Seattle streets. It was the end of summer, and before I knew it school would be restarting. I was about to start my junior year of high school, and even through it was still two weeks away, I still couldn't help but feel nervous.

The sun was at its peek and I pulled my bug-eyed sunglasses down from my head to cover my eyes. I looked to my right to see my best friend – whom I've been walking with this whole time – smiling at me, and the sun reflected in his eyes. Freddie Benson had been my best friend since we we're five. We were those kids on the playground that everyone made fun of, telling us that we were going to get cooties if we stuck around the other. Luckily for us, we never listened to the other kids comments, and are still best friends to this day, at sixteen years old.

Being best friends with a boy definitely effected the way I grew up. I'm the type of girl that would rather wear an old baseball cap than a skirt and heels. Even when I was little, while all the other girls were tying their hair in bows and taking ballet classes, I was on a junior baseball team with Freddie. Of course I was the better player of the two, seeing as Freddie can barely throw or catch. And even though all the other little girls saw me as an outcast, I never would've changed my situation for the world.

Even now I have steered clear of the norm. I am the captain of the girl's flag football team, and every Friday night when the school would gather for the game, Freddie was always in the stands, cheering me on with his friends from his computer class.

Now, we walked in the late summer sun and headed for Freddie's apartment. He lived with his crazy over-protective mother, who thought the only thing that wasn't perfect about her son was me. Ever since she met me, Marissa Benson thought I was bad news and had since attempted many times to terminate our friendship. This only stopped a year or two ago when she found out about how my mom treated me (which was not very well), and Marissa soon decided that I had more troubles than she originally assumed. From that point on, I was a more frequent visitor at the Benson residence, spending countless nights there away from my complicated home life.

"Why are you so quiet?" Freddie asked me now, breaking a long silence.

"Sorry," I said snapping back into reality. "I was just thinking."

Freddie nodded, then slightly smiled. "About what?"

"Life," I said putting it generally.

A small laugh escaped Freddie. "Now that's enough to keep you distracted."

We keep walking, and his building came into view. A new silence found it's way over us, and I couldn't remember the last time I had such a hard time finding something to say to Freddie. Normally, all sorts of conversation on the most random of topics flew up left and right. Now, however, I felt like I was finally all talked out.

* * *

After making our way up to Freddie's apartment and scarfing down one large Hawaiian pizza, I sprawled across the floor of Freddie's room. I thought of the events of the past week. My boyfriend of 5 months, Derek Hanson, and I had broken up. The list of fights the two of us had partaken in finally became too long, and I ended things between us. It seemed after passing the three month mark of our relationship, we were constantly at each others throats. Insults flew, harsh things were said. It was almost freeing to finally be clear of him.

Still, the thought of him made me sad. Although, towards it's end, our relationship was hardly even functional, I couldn't help but replay the good times we'd shared over and over in my head. The memory of them seemed to outweigh that of our fighting.

"You okay Sam?" Freddie said suddenly, seeing my distress.

"Oh, yeah I'm fine," I told him, half lying. "I'm just thinking about Derek."

"Ah," Freddie began. "That jerk."

I nodded, and pulled my hair back from my face. "Pretty much."

Freddie came and sat down next to me on his bedroom floor. "He doesn't deserve you, Sam."

I looked at him. "You're just saying that."

"I am not!" He said, offended. "Seriously, you're too good for him."

"Thanks Freddie." I rested my head on his shoulder, and he responded by putting his arm around me. I smiled, so did he.

"I never liked Derek anyways," he told me honestly.

"I know you didn't. You told me at least once a week to 'dump his ass.'"

"Hah," he laughed. "And I was right, too."

"Yeah, yeah. Don't rub it in," I said.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that Freddie really did always hate Derek. He was always trying to tell me he was wrong for me, and how I was just going to get hurt with _someone like him_. But the one time that really stood out was the first night Derek and I had gotten into a fight.

_I ran into Freddie's room, tears running down my cheeks, and a bruise on my arm just beginning to form. I closed my eyes tightly when I saw Freddie run up to me. _

"_What did he do to you?" He asked, his voice dangerous and low. I just shook my head, and began to cry all over again. Freddie wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in closer and rubbed my back. _

"_Shhh, Sam. It's okay. You're okay." Freddie told me, taking away the pain.  
_

"_He...h-he hit me." I whispered out. _

_Freddie released me, held onto my shoulders and looked into my eyes. "I swear to God, Sam, I'm going to kill him!" His tone expressed just how mad he was.  
_

_I just nodded before hugging him all over again. "I hate Derek Hanson," Freddie whispered under his breath, just loud enough for me to hear. _

* * *

Later that night, we practically feel asleep on his couch, until his foot collided with my face. "Ew! Get you're nasty foot out of my face!" I complained.

"No! You get your nasty face away from my foot!" he spat, and sat up.

I frowned. "Haha, very funny."

"Well it doesn't need to be infected. I love my feet," he said matter-of-factually, patting them with pride.

"You are a freak, Benson," I said, rolling my eyes.

He smiled. "But I'm cooler than you Puckett."

"Yeah, okay," I said sarcastically.

"I'm hungry," Freddie announced randomly. "Let's go to McDonalds."

"Freddie, its like 12:30! We're not going to McDonalds." I told him.

He smirked. "Oh, but we are."

He grabbed me by the hand and pulled me out the apartment door and didn't let go until we got into the elevator.

* * *

When we made it to McDonalds, it was almost one in the morning. I was too tired to even focus on the burger in front of me, let alone the conversation about computer processors that Freddie was trying to keep up. I practically fell asleep, when I saw someone enter, and my heart almost stopped when I saw Derek Hanson. "Shit!" I said, sliding down in my seat.

"Awe," Freddie said. "What's that ass wipe doing here?"

I laughed. "You did _not _just call him an ass wipe!"

Freddie laughed back. "Well it was accurate!"

"That it is," I said, smiling.

"What's he doing here at 1:00?" Freddie asked.

"How should I know?" I answered.

"Sam?" I heard Derek call out.

"Dammit!" I whispered under my breath, realizing my cover was blown. I looked up to see Derek and his best friend Justin Faulkner walking towards Freddie and I.

"Hey Sam." Derek said pleasantly. "Freddie." He added, nodding in his direction. .

"Look Hanson, why don't you get out of here?" Freddie said, standing up.

Derek took a step closer. "What's it to you Benson?"

Freddie crossed his arms across his chest. "You hurt my best friend, and that's not okay with me."

"Freddie, just sit down," I said quietly, pulling on his arm. I sunk lower in my seat as Derek tried to pull me up.

"Yeah Benson. Sam doesn't need your backup!" Derek said, and he and Justin laughed.

"Don't talk to him like that!" I told Derek.

"Whoa, Sam. Calm down, I just wanted to talk," he said trying to grab my hand, but I pulled it away from him.

"Well she doesn't wanna talk to you," Freddie said to Derek as he pushed past him, grabbing my hand in the process. "Come on Sam, we're leaving."

I didn't have to argue with that. I tightened my grip on Freddie's hand and we stormed out of McDonalds together, hand in hand, leaving Derek Hanson behind.

* * *

**Well? What did you think? Please review! I really wanna know what you think of the AU, and the secret Seddie in there. It kinda shows some...stuff. Lmfao. **


	2. Two

**A.N: Here is chapter two. Sorry for the long wait! But like I said, updates might take a little bit of time. Things are going to start to take place here, and get more intense. Well not really, but it's important later on. Haha, okay. Just pay attention to the scene at the end and what Freddie is telling Sam. So please read and tell me what you think. **

**Thanks to my Beta reader, Adnama19. I'm so glad to have her help me out, because I hate finding mistakes of spelling or grammar in my writing. So thanks Adnama19! **

**I hope none of you are minding the AU. I really like it. Actually the reason its AU I planed on making the characters really different from themselves, but then I figured it wouldn't be as fun. So even though they might not be bang on – they aren't opposites either. Awe, whatever. Do **_**you**_** like the AU? **

**I'd just like to point out that in this story Sam and Freddie are BEST FRIENDS, and have been their whole lives. It's not like in the show how they hold things back from each other, because they really don't. They tell each other everything and are EXTREAMLY close. So make sure you got that in your mind, kay! Thanks.**

**Oh, and when they are in science class, they talk about mass and gravity and density. I just started grade nine – and I don't even have science this semester – so honestly I have no idea what you learn in grade 11 science. I just did what I was learning in science at the end of my grade eight year.**

**Disclaimer: Oh no! I don't own iCarly! Apparently Dan Schneider does, whoever that is? Just kidding. **

**

* * *

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If You Were Me

_**By: ForTheWin04**_

**Chapter Two**

* * *

I threw my pillow over my head when the sound of my alarm hit my ears at exactly six thirty. Feeling the pressure from the first day of grade eleven, I shut my eyes and rolled over so I was facing downward into my pillow. I ignored the announcer on the radio – who claimed it was a good day. I begged to differ.

After fifteen minutes of constant arguing with my own mind, I rolled out of my bed and practically hit the floor. I quickly caught myself and slowly made my way towards my closet. I wrapped my hand around the doorknob and it felt cool in my warm palm. Instead of putting time and consideration into my outfit, I simply grabbed the first things I could get my hands on. The way I saw it, the first day outfit was no different than what you wore any other day of your life. And no one should care anyways – because frankly, I don't.

I made my way into the kitchen and opened the cupboards. Inside was bread – that soon would be proven to be covered in mold, a can of soup, and a box of Frosted Flakes. I grabbed the box and set it down on the counter. But when I looked to find milk, the best friend to cereal, obviously, I realized I was out. I simply shrugged and grabbed a can of root beer. I poured my Frosted Flakes into a bowl and pulled the tap on the pop. Suddenly, foam came raging from the top of the can and all over my shirt. "Shit!" I yelled to myself before setting the can into the sink and backing away. I shook my hands in the air and attempted to rid them of the black sticky liquid. I ran into my room and ripped off my shirt, quickly pulling a black hoodie over my head.

I returned to my kitchen and I decided to attempt to save what was left of my make-shift breakfast. I walked over to the sink and looked down and the dark liquid that had accumulated in the drain and it didn't look very appetizing anymore. When I had come to the decision not to eat breakfast at all, Freddie showed up at my door. I glanced at the clock: 7:30, exactly on time.

I ran over to the door, and yelled hey to Freddie even before I had opened it. He stood in front of me and smiled awkwardly. I quickly noticed the change in his attire and raised an eyebrow at him.

"What do you think?" he asked nervously, slipping his thumbs into his pockets. I glanced at him up and down and shook my head. He looked like he was about to see royalty. And with the tucked in shirt and combed back hair, I'm guessing only the queen would approve. Without a word I walked up to him and yanked his shirt out of his pants.

"Ugh, Sam!" he complained. Instead of listening, I took another step closer and ran my hands through his hair and messed up every perfect piece.

"There," I said quietly, keeping my hand resting on top of his head. "_Now _you look good."

He slightly blushed as he smiled at me. "T-Thanks."

"No problem," I said shrugging, not seeing the big deal. I dropped my hand and it lightly brushed over his cheek, which turned even redder and he looked down at his feet. It was that precise moment I noticed how horrible his shoes were. They actually appeared to have been shined – but I don't need to go into the details. I pointed down and rolled my eyes. "Freddie, change your shoes."

"What's wrong with my shoes?"

"Honestly? Everything," I told him with a smirk. "Look, you left your Converse here last week. Just wear those."

He rolled his eyes and put his hands on his hips. "Fine, go get them."

I shook my head as I turned around and ran to my room to grab them. I quickly looked around until I found them under my bed – though I'm not 100% sure how they got there. When I came back out to give Freddie the decent pair of shoes, he was messing with his hair and trying to ruffle it to his likings.

"You look fine!" I reassured him as I tossed the shoes his way. He failed miserably and only caught one. The other hit the ground with a thud. "But you can't catch," I added.

He smiled and bent down to grab the other shoe. After he made the swap we began walking towards Ridgeway High.

* * *

The hot summer air hit me as soon as we set off down the side walk and I immediately regretted wearing a sweater. I pushed up the sleeves so they bunched up above my elbow and pulled back my hair into a ponytail with the elastic around my wrist.

"I hate walking," I groaned as we trudged along the sidewalk. I slipped my hands into my pockets and soaked up the summer sun in my pale skin as I looked up at the sky.

"Just wait three months, and then I'll be able to drive without my mom in the car," Freddie explained with a sigh.

"Three months!" I complained. "Why couldn't you be born earlier in the year?"

"Hey! Don't get vicious. It's not _my _fault my mom decided to stay pregnant with me for eleven months!"

"Yeah, your mom needs help," I told him with a pat on the back.

"Why didn't you just get your license? Aren't you like 6 months older than me?" he asked.

"Nah," I said, shrugging. "In three months, that'll be your job and another thing I won't have to worry about."

Freddie laughed and draped his arm over my shoulders. "Same old Sam."

"Yep, and I'm here to stay," I said with a smirk.

Freddie squeezed my shoulder before dropping his arm all together. I smiled and the two of us made our way to start grade eleven.

* * *

"Who is that?" Freddie asked as we entered the school. He was gesturing to a small brunette girl whom I'd never seen before. She appeared to be one of those people who was obviously pretty, but not so obvious that they looked like they were trying too hard. Her hair curled in and framed her face. She was looking down at a sheet of paper – that I'm guessing was her schedule – and had a very confused look about her. "She's _hot_!"

I smacked him in the shoulder, but smiled anyways. "Pervert!"

"I'm gonna go see if she needs help," he said, ignoring me. "C'mon!"

He grabbed my hand and pulled me over to her. I guess Freddie's plan worked, because she was the first to speak. "Hey, uhm, do you know where room 138 is?"

"Room 138? Yeah, it's down that hall to your left. You can't miss it." Freddie said smiling and pointed in the general direction.

"Oh, thanks!" The small brunette girl replied.

I tapped my foot impatiently against the tile floor. I could already tell this girl would be a pain. She was loud and preppy and just looking at her gave me a headache.

"I'm Freddie," he said, extending his hand, which she gladly shook. "And this is my best friend Sam."

She smiled but eyed me with discomfort. "Nice you meet you."

"You too," I said with fake smile, which Freddie noticed and glared at me for.

"I'm Carly," she said, still smiling, "Carly Shay."

The bell rang right then, and she frowned. "Well I have to go," She said, looking down at her schedule. "You know, class."

"Haha, yeah," Freddie laughed. "Well, maybe I'll see you around."

"Yeah, totally." Carly agreed. "Bye Freddie," she said as she turned away. "Oh and bye Cam!" She shouted over her shoulder.

I crossed my arms. "It's _Sam!_" I shouted before huffing off to class. I heard footsteps behind me and looked back to see Freddie following.

"Don't be jealous, Sam," he teased.

"I," I said clearly, "Am _not _jealous. I just don't like her."

"Why?" Freddie asked. "She's totally nice."

"Yeah, maybe too nice. And you just like her cause she's hot," I complained.

"It's okay Sam," he said, teasing me again. "You're hot too."

"Gee," I huffed, crossing my arms. "Thanks."

* * *

When I got into science class, I was relieved to not have a seating plan. That was always the worst part, I thought. You see, more often then not, with a seating plan you get stuck beside some loser breath that isn't even good enough to do your laundry. I just didn't feel like dealing. So when no such plan was announced, I settled back into my seat beside Freddie with a wide grin.

Our teacher, Mr. Krelove, gave us some review questions. But as the rest of the class began scribbling down their own answers, I looked down at the text book with blank stares. And this brings us to the reason I was so glad to be sitting with Freddie, besides the obvious. I could cheat.

"Freddie, what'd you get for number 3?" I whispered.

"I'm not helping you cheat Sam!" Freddie said, crossing his arms and leaning back in his seat.

I wrinkled my nose and leaned closer to him, resting my elbow on my desk. "Then what's the point of sitting next to you?"

"Because I keep good company?" He guessed.

"Haha!" I fake-laughed. "No."

"Okay, I'll help you," he said as he reached over and pointed to the text book. "It's asking you for the equation to find mass."

"And I do that how?" I questioned.

"Well you know that mass over density equals volume," he explained. "So what does mass equal?"

"How should I know?"

"I'm guessing you also failed algebra," Freddie said, earning him a punch in the arm. "Ow!"

"Just tell me the answer!" I complained.

"Fine!" he said, giving in easily. "Mass is equal to density multiplied by volume."

"Thank you." I said, smiling sweetly.

"You know I'm not helping you on everything," Freddie told me. "Right?"

"Yeah, yeah," I said, rolling my eyes.

"I mean it Sam! I'm not going to pass this class for you," he told me sternly, while he set his hands on the table and looked down at his own work.

"Whatever you say, Freddie," I said sarcastically.

"Fine then," he said. "Have fun failing."

"At least tutor me," I said, attempting to convince him.

"Ugh!" Freddie moaned, and turned his head to look back over at me. "Fine!"

"Yay!" I cheered.

Freddie frowned. "I hate you."

I looked at him and smirked. "I love you too."

* * *

I leaned back on the couch in Freddie's room and pulled at the blanket that was lying lazily in my lap. Ever since my mom's been neglecting me I've pretty much stayed at Freddie's. And the couch that I currently possessed had become my make-shift bed for a while. I sighed and closed my eyes. Since there wasn't much of a conversation flow in the room I figured I might as well try to sleep.

"So how about that girl today?" Freddie said out of nowhere.

"Ugh, you're still on that?" I asked in an annoyed tone as I re-opened my eyes and sat up on one elbow.

He sat up on his bed and turned his head to face me at a better angle. "Of course. I might actually have a chance with this girl. Carly's new and she doesn't know anyone. Might be desperate for a boyfriend."

"Trust me Freddie," I said. "No one's desperate enough to date you."

"Thanks, Sam," he replied sarcastically.

I looked at him seriously and sighed. "Look, maybe just give her some space and time to get used to the school before you hit on her, okay?"

"Whatever Sammy," he said, rolling his eyes. Well, at least I think he rolled his eyes, it was kind of dark in his room. "We have to get up early. Let's just go to sleep."

"Fine, whatever," I said, annoyed with him.

He frowned. "Hey, don't be mad at me!"

"I'm not mad," I lied.

"Are too."

"Look, I just really don't like her!" I told him. "She seems...fake."

Freddie thought about this. "Well if you really don't like her that much, then I won't ask her out, okay?"

"Seriously?" I asked him.

"Well yeah," he said. "Sam, you're my _best friend_. You mean more to me than any random girl anyways."

"No, it's fine. I'll...I'll get to know her better before I judge her," I promised.

"Thanks Sam," he told me. "But just know if I have to ever choose between you and a girl I like, I'll choose you."

I smiled at him. "Thanks Freddie," I said, realizing how huge that was.

He smiled too, before lying back down. "Goodnight Sam. Love you."

I closed my eyes. "Love you, too."

**

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Oh, Freddie likes Carly. Lmfao. And I just want to make it clear that when they said 'Love you' before going to sleep, it's just kind of means like best friends not literally. Okay? Review time!


	3. Three

**A.N: SLAP ME SOMEONE, WILL YOU?**

**It's official – I'm the STUPIDEST person alive. If you got a Story Alert about 2 hours ago for this story and were like "LOLOMG SHE FINALLY UPDATED!" and then clicked on it and got something about Oliver Oken, and were like WTF?**

**I accidentally uploaded the wrong thing :S**

**...that's awkward. **

**Thanks to CB chick and her review "Please tell me chapter 3 is a joke" ...because without that review, you guys still would have been reading about Oliver Oken :S **

**CB chick, this ones for you! **

**...well, if you DID read that, and liked it... it's SUPPOSED to be part of my story If Only I Knew... go read that ;)**

**AND NOW! THE PROPER UNDATE: **

**Yo, haha! Uhm, yeah. I'm too cool for school. I hope you are all liking this. I've gotten a lot of Story Alerts and favourites, so thanks to everyone. **

**I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER! :(**

**There were problems getting it to my Beta reader and it was all messed up. It hasn't been thoroughly edited, and BUT it will be eventually, so if you see a mistake, review and tell me! I'll fix it ASAP! **

**I'd also like to tell you that Carly is different in this. Sure she's still perky and happy, but her overall personality isn't the same. So look out. She's not like an opposite, but you might notice some differences. She's a little over happy. **

**Disclaimer: Nope. **

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If You Were Me

_**By: ForTheWin04**_

**Chapter 3**

* * *

The beat of my foot against the school hallways was definitely annoying the student body around me. I don't know what it was about her that made me feel irritable. Maybe it was the way she twirled her hair between her fingers, maybe it was the way she always had to hold onto him – his arm, his neck, his hand – when she talked to him, or maybe it was just the fact she was stealing my best friend.

Not that I wasn't happy for Freddie for finding a girl who likes him, but why did it _have _to be Carly Shay. I don't like that girl, one bit. Plus, she's all Freddie talks about anymore! I know I may have talked about some of my crushes with him before, but it's been two weeks straight. Can you say overboard?

The three of us stood in the school hallways, not that I was an active member of the conversation, but the bell had rung and I was going to go to the mall with Freddie any second now. He just needed it end this monstrous conversation first.

"So Carly," Freddie was asking.

She smiled, "Yeah?"

"You know, uhm, there's a dance coming up. Like, to start the year off. And I was wondering if, maybe, you wanted to go with me."

I know Freddie and I agreed that he wouldn't ask her out until I knew her a little better – even though I'm pretty sure I still wouldn't approve. But it _was _just a school dance. What harm could come from that.

I turned and looked at Carly when a frown came across her face. I held back a giggle, and listened to her response. "Oh, Freddie that's so sweat! But I'm not going to the dance. See, I'm still trying to get settled here. Plus, some other boys have already asked me and I told them I wasn't attending so it would be rude to them to say yes to you, and not to them."

Girl never stops talking.

"Oh," said a disappointed Freddie. "That's cool."

"I'm sorry!"

"It's all good."

My eyes did a 360, before I grabbed Freddie's hand and pulled him towards the school exit. "Yeah well, we gotta run. Bye."

"Bye Freddie," Carly said. "And bye, Sid."

"MY NAME IS _SAM_!" I yelled, tightening the grip on my best friend.

* * *

"What about this one, Fredwina?" I asked, holding up a purple dress.

"That one's nice too, Sam."

"Or maybe," I said, turning my attention back to the rack of clothes. "The black one..."

"Sam," he said. "You know you'll look great in anything you wear!"

"Uhm," I said, feeling discomfort. "Thank you?"

"I just meant, why are we here?"

"Because," I told him. "You said you'd help me find a dress for the dance."

"Fine, I like the blue one."

I pulled the dress off the rack. "This one?"

"Mhm," Freddie agreed.

"Fine, I shall try it on."

I went in to look for a dressing room with Freddie following behind me. Slipping inside an empty room, I watched Freddie lean against the wall separating two unoccupied change rooms.

"So," he said though the door. "You know about that dance?"

"Yeah?" I said, mid-changing.

"Well," He continued. "I was thinking we could like, go together? As like best friends and all. Just cause neither one of us have dates I just figured..."

"...that we'd hangout together? Did you even need to ask?" I replied.

"No. Not really."

"Then it's settled." I said, as I came out of the change room in the short blue dress Freddie had pointed out. It was puffy at the bottom with a big black bow across the waste.

"I think you look lovely, Miss. Samantha." Freddie said in a bad English accident.

I giggled. "Why thank you, kind sir. And will you be my prince at this ball?"

"Indeed!"

"Excellent. Because, I need a prince. Have you seen some of the guys I've dated, really?" I said, my tone returning to normal.

"I know. You've dated some freaks!"

I growled. "You're gonna get it, Benson!"

"Nope. You can't get my while wearing a dress!" he teased.

"Ugh!" I said, storming back into the change room and returned to my normal clothing.

I threw the dress at Freddie. "Now go pay for this."

"What?" he asked. "No way am I paying for your dress!"

"Don't dates always pay?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"For the date? Yes. For their date's outfit? NO!" he huffed.

I smirked. "Yeah well, when were we ever normal?"

"You're lucky I like you so much." He grumbled as he made his way to the cash register.

I felt some relief come over me. I'd missed spending time alone with Freddie. Or, at least with out him mentioning Carly. Everything's been different for the past two weeks. I'm just happy to see everything get back on track, for now anyways.

But this has happened before. When we we're eleven, Freddie had the biggest crush on a girl named Katherine Mile. She was always on his mind, night and day. And who had to hear about it? Me. His eleven year old best friend. And this lasted a whole week, until Freddie talked to Katherine, and she laughed at him. Then again, when he told me I laughed at him, too. It was his first heart-break. Or so he had said. But can you really get your heart broken at eleven? Aren't you supposed to still be a kid, playing with Barbie's and toy race cars? However, he's always been mature for his age. And he knew more about hard drives at that age then the average forty year old man would. Freaky genius boy.

He came back over to me with a pink bag that contained my dress. "$80.00? You had to get an eighty dollar dress?"

I smirked. "Thank you Freddie."

I grabbed the bag and gave him a hug. Despite his anger he hugged me back, and kept his arm around me as we walked out of the store.

* * *

"Please, Sam!" Freddie demanded.

I crossed my arms. "No. No way!"

"Please! For me. Your amazing best friend!"

"Ugh! I hate you!" I said, in my own strange way of agreeing. I walked into the school and straight for Carly Shay.

I didn't even say hi, I just got straight to the point. "Look, Freddie thinks that me and you should hangout. So we can get to know each other better."

"Sure!" she said, the usual smile on her face.

"Okay?" I said, crossing my arms. "What'cha wanna do?"

"I dunno."

I looked at what she was wearing today. It was a pink overload. And when I say overload, I mean _overload! _She was wearing pink tights with a dark jean skirt, and a pink baby-tee. Oh, and shoes _and_ headband to match. How attractive.

We ended up going to this stupid ice cream place that just opened up. So I'd buy a milkshake with the girl, then I'd go home and tell Freddie how amazing she was. Just to make him happy.

"What do you want?" The waiter – a scrawny blond boy – asked in a monotone voice. Charming.

"Chocolate milkshake," I replied, not making eye contact.

Carly smiled politely at him. "And I'll take a strawberry milkshake."

Strawberries. Pink. Of course.

After we got our milkshakes, we sat in silence. But when we did talk, I found out that we had nothing in common.

"So, Sam," At least she learned my name. "Can I ask you something?"

"Uh," I said, in-between sips. "Sure."

"Is Freddie a good kisser?"

With widened eyes, I spat my milkshake all over the table and began to cough. "_Excuse me_?"

"Ew gross!" Carly said, examining my spit-out shake. "Can we get come napkins?"

The waiter came over and cleaned up my mess, and gave me dirty looks. I swear I heard him growl when he walked away.

"Why'd you do that?" Carly asked.

"Because you asked me if Freddie was a good _kisser_!" I said firmly.

She looked confused. "Yes, what's your point?"

"I've _never _kissed him!" I said. "Gross!"

"Seriously? But haven't you guys been close for like, ever?"

"Uhm, _yes_! But Freddie's my _best friend_, nothing more."

"So, you two have no feelings for each other?" She asked.

I frowned. "Absolutely none."

A smile resumed on her face, but her cheeks went as pink as her outfit.

"Oh, sorry!" she giggled out.

I simply rolled my eyes. "That's okay."

The rest of the time we spent together, she giggled and laughed at things that weren't funny, constantly fiddled with her hair, and that annoying _smile _never left her face. It was apparent that Carly Shay and I wouldn't be the best of friends.

* * *

I picked up a piece of grass and twirled it between my fingers. "I dunno. I just don't like her."

"What's wrong with her?" Freddie asked.

"Well first," I said ticking it off on a finger. "She's a total prep. Second, she annoys me, and third she asked if you were a good kisser!"

Instead of the disgust I expected to cross his face, he just smirked. "And what'cha tell her?"

I thumped him in the forehead. "I _told _her that we've never kissed before."

His smirked stayed on his face.

"Wanna change that?" he joked.

I thumped him again. "Stop that! Look, I don't like her!"

"She's a nice girl, Sam."

"Maybe too nice."

"Or maybe," he said, scooting closer to me. "You're too mean!"

I pushed him over and he collided with the ground beneath him. "Ow!"

"I am not mean!"

"Yeah," he said while he brushed himself off. "Says the one who just abused me!"

"Shut it, Freddie!" I snapped.

The smirk left his face and he frowned. "She's not that horrible Sam."

"No, I guess not." I shrugged.

"So, can I ask her out?" he asked with a hopeful look on his face.

I thought for a moment, possibilities swimming around my head. "I just don't know if she's right for you..."

"Not right, she's _perfect!_" Freddie protested.

"Just...Just give me more time to get to know her." I pleaded.

A frown crossed his mouth. "Ugh, fine."

* * *

My face turned down at my reflection in the mirror. I hadn't given a second look to the dress I had bought for tonight's events...and I was less than happy with it.

It made my shoulders look huge, and my legs look tiny. The bow around my waste was eschew and it was a terrible shade of blue. Then again, I've never liked blue that much. I was always more of a green kind of girl...but that's not the point. I didn't like it.

On the kind of upside, my hair looked good. It was extremely curly today, more so than usual. And the bump on the top of my head was exceptional. But then again, I really didn't care. I mean, my date _was _Freddie. What does he care? He's seen me in sweats. It didn't matter to him.

Tonight's dance went from seven o'clock until eleven. But the 'cool' kids don't show up until eight and stayed until nine-thirty. And that is exactly what Freddie and I planed to do. This guy in school – Tommy Gold – had the most insane parties, ever. And that is where everyone would be. This was the first time I was excited for anything in a while. This party was going to be amazing!

At least, that's what I had thought.

**

* * *

**

Aha! That's the end for this chapter. What did you think? Well, I won't know unless you review! So what are you still doing here? Hit that button!


	4. Four

**A.N: Here's the new chapter. **

**I absolutely hate this chapter. I've had to re-write it so many times, and I just hate it. I hope you like it though! I'm just sick of it! **

**Normally this author notes are really long, but I can't think of anything to say...so onto the chapter...right after the disclaimer! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly. **

* * *

**If You Were Me**

_**By: ForTheWin04**_

**Chapter 4**

* * *

Lame, is the adjective that comes to mind when asked to describe the Ridgeway High dance. The music was from like, the 80s, and no one was dancing. Well, besides the freshmen and some seniors which I'm sure were drunk because I'm guessing one of them was the one who spiked the punch. Whoopty-do.

"Well this is stupid," I complained from the sidelines while I crossed my arms.

Freddie nodded. "You're telling me."

"Why did you even ask me here?"

"Uhm, because you wanted to go to Tommy Gold's party? And I thought it _might _be fun," he replied, while looking around. "Clearly I thought wrong."

"Clearly," I clarified.

"And Sam, this isn't really _a date_," he told me.

"Yeah, cause I really want to date _you_," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Thanks, Sam."

The fast music coming from the speakers died down and was replaced with a slow song. Though I wasn't sure exactly what song it was, I knew Freddie liked it. I hear him listening to it all the time, but I guess I never bothered asking what it was called. A few couples flooded out to the dance floor, and swayed together to the music.

Freddie rose to his feet and stood in front of me. "You, little missy, are dancing."

"That was a lovely invitation," I joked.

Instead of listening, he grabbed my hand and pulled me out onto the dance floor.

I had danced with Freddie a million times before. It's not like this was any different from other dances we had attended together throughout our friendship. My hands automatically settled themselves around his shoulders and his went on my waist.

"Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you that I hate this dress," I said.

"What, why?"

"It makes me look like a monkey."

"I happen to like monkeys," he protested.

I smiled. "Thanks, but it's just _not _me."

"Meh, I like it still."

I took a step closer to Freddie and rested my head on his shoulder. "I'm bored."

"Sorry I can't be of better entertainment."

"It's not you," I told him. "It's this stupid dance."

"Yeah I know, it's so lame."

"Mhm."

* * *

You could hear the music six blocks down the street.

Freddie and I pulled up outside of Tommy Gold's house, and cars were lined up so far that we had to park around the corner. Excitement boiled as we walked towards the house from our parking spot.

"You sure seem excited," Freddie began, taking one look at my happy expression.

"Dude, this is, like, the party of the century! Of _course_ I'm excited!"

Freddie turned his head to look at me. "Promise me something?"

"Sure," I agreed with a smile.

"Me and you are going to have an awesome time tonight."

I grabbed his hand and swayed them eccentrically between us, "Yes Sir!"

I felt a smile on my face when we walked inside the house.

It was obvious that the word had gotten out about Tommy's party. There were people in every single nook and cranny of that house.

Barely room to breathe.

Freddie and I had barely entered when a ball of sunshine tapped on his shoulder. "Surprise!"

Freddie turned around to the see annoyance herself, front and center.

"Carly?" Freddie questioned. "What are you doing here?"

"Well I decided to come," she said – and not to my surprise – smiling.

"Wow, cool," Freddie said, and then he looked at me. "But, I'm kind of here with Sam."

I looked down. "Oh, that's fine Freddie."

"One sec," Freddie told Carly before pulling me aside. "Sam, you don't have to do that. I thought _we_were going to hangout tonight?"

"I don't want to spoil your fun. If you want to hangout with her than go," I told him.

"Are...are you sure?" he asked as he placed a hand on my wrist.

Before answering I looked back at Carly. She had on a short, tight pink dress with a black belt and black boots. Her hair was pulled up tightly in a ponytail. I definitely could see a job as a hooker in her future.

I shook my head, and then retuned my attention to Freddie. "Yeah I'm totally cool with it."

"Thanks Sam. You're the best," he said, while hugging me. "I'll come find you later."

"Okay," I said, as he began to walk away.

He turned around mid-walk. "Save me a dance!"

"Sure thing."

Then, he walked over to Carly, wrapping his arm around her waist and they walked into the crowd together.

Samantha Puckett. Party of one.

* * *

A tall buff red head came up to me with a case of beer twenty minutes after Freddie disappeared with Carly. "Want one?"

"No thanks," I told him, seeing no point to get drunk when all I was doing was sitting around, feeling sorry for myself.

"Awe c'mon!" he slurred. "Just one! Won't hurt ya!"

I shrugged my shoulders, noticing that clearly he had had a few drinks himself. "Seriously, I'm fine."

"Don't be a downer!" he said as he took one out of the pack. "Just take it, besides you look like you need it!"

"Fine, give it!" I said, and I grabbed it from his hand.

"That's more like it!"

He offered me a bottle opener, and was clearly surprised when I pulled off the cap with my bare hands. He turned around to leave and I nodded him a thanks. I brought the cold bottle to my lips, and took one big, needed drink. Maybe he was right, I did need this.

* * *

"Hey Sam. Long time no see."

I frowned when I looked up and saw Derek Hanson hovering over me, a large, lopsided grin spread across his face. "What do you want?"

"Just to talk," he said, moving over to sit on the empty seat next to me.

I sighed. "Okay fine."

He slid his hand into mine, and I tensed up. "I miss you, Sammy."

"Well, _you're_ the one who dumped me."

He shook his head. "I did not _dump_ you! I just needed some time off."

"Yeah, to screw every girl in sight, no doubt," I grumbled.

"That is not true!" he told me.

"Yes, it is Derek."

"Maybe I just wanted to date you," he said.

"You never wanted to date me! You just _wanted me_!" I said, letting go of his hand and sliding away from him.

"Sam I..."

"...and I'm sure you thought this party was the best place to do it, right? Because, what the heck, we're at a party! Yeah, well you don't fool me Derek. Not one bit!" I spat.

Derek slid back over to me, and leaned extremely close to my face. "Come on, Sammy."

He forced up on me and pressed his lips on mine. I struggled underneath him, and pushed him away.

"Get off of me!" I said as I stood up.

"Hey don't be like that," he said.

"I'm through with you," I said, turning away and running through a mob of people.

I went looking for Freddie when I felt the tears go down my cheek. He had been right about Derek the whole time. He was a _jerk. _

I just needed my best friend right now. I needed him to hug me and tell me everything was going to be okay. _I needed him_.

When I finally pushed past a group of football players and their girlfriends, I reached the living room. My eyes scanned the room, and that's when I saw Freddie sitting on the couch with Carly on his lap. They were joined at the lips.

All of a sudden, the room began to turn as I stood there looking at my best friend kissing Carly Shay. Everything around me smelt like alcohol and cheep perfume. I was dizzy and the next thing I knew I was falling to the ground.

"Sam!" Freddie screamed when he noticed me and he moved from under Carly and ran to my side. "You okay?"

I closed my eyes tightly and more tears fell. I just burried my head in my arms and curled up on the booze stained carpet. Suddenly, I felt Freddie's arms underneath me and he picked me up off of the ground. He told Carly he'd be right back, and I wrapped my arms around his neck to hold him closer.

My eyes were still shut tight, so I was in shock when Freddie set me down. I opened my eyes to see we were in Tommy's bedroom, and he had set me on the bed. He was sitting down next to me, and stroked my hair. "What happened, Sam?"

"Derek Hanson," I mumbled out.

"Oh my god, what did he do? I swear to God, I'll kill him!" Freddie shouted, and his hands formed fists.

"He just told me that _he missed me_," I said in a mocking tone. "And then tried to kiss me."

"You didn't kiss him, right?" Freddie confirmed.

I closed my eyes. "No, I did."

"What? That little-"

"Freddie!" I said, cutting him off. "It's okay. I just shoved him off."

"I'm sorry Sam," he told me.

I crawled up to him and set my head on his shoulder and wrapped my arms around him. I felt more tears coming. But this time, it wasn't because Derek. It was from the burning image in my head of Freddie kissing Carly. I did everything in my power to push the memory away.

"You okay, Sam?" he asked.

"Yeah," – Sniffle – "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" he questioned, ignoring me.

"Well, not really." I said, telling him the truth.

"Just ignore Derek..."

"It's not Derek. It's Carly." I blurted out before realizing it.

"Carly? What did she do?"

I considered telling him right there. It bothered me when I saw her kissing you. It pissed me off that she was stealing you from me. Sure our personalities clashed, but maybe that wasn't the only reason I didn't like her.

But instead I said this: "I feel bad about holding you back from her. I mean, I shouldn't control your life. If you wanna date her – go right ahead."

"Seriously?" Freddie asked.

I swallowed hard. "Yep."

"Thanks, Sammy," he proclaimed, and hugged me closer. "So, you all better now? No more _woozy Sam_?" he mocked.

"Yeah," I punched him lightly in the arm. "Thanks for being here for me."

"Anytime, Miss. Puckett," he told me.

We walked back out to the party together. "Well, I gotta go find Carly. You sure you're okay?"

"Oh yeah," I lied. "Never better."

"Okay," he said, putting his hands into his pockets.

"I think I'm gonna go home," I told him.

"You...want me to come?" he offered. But I knew he wanted to stay.

"Nah, I'm fine," I said, regretting it as soon as the words left my mouth. "I'll see you later."

"Kay. Feel better Sam," he said.

"Bye Freddie. Love you."

He smiled as he turned back towards the crowd. "Love you too," he said. I frowned as I watched him walk away.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is where I began to fall.

* * *

**Oh my God! Sam is beginning to realize she **_**likes**_** Freddie! I knew there was Seddie in there somewhere. Aha! Not sure how I'm feeling about this chapter. Didn't really know how to explain that last scene with Sam and Freddie in Tommy's room. Hope it was alright and didn't seem too unreal or stupid. But I guess I'll never know what you're thinking either unless you review. So go, now! **

**Thanks for all the story alerts, by the way! I've gotten so many, it's unreal! **


	5. Five

**A.N: Hello fictioners. How are you? Sorry this has taken me so long to get out. But here it is! Yay! With everything going on I haven't found that much time to write this. But leave me be. Lmfao. I just started grade ten, but I've found time to post this! **

**I like the overall plot of this chapter, but it's pretty much just a bunch of small random scenes that don't really flow together very well. But oh well, it's still a normal length update: just more broken up into days and scenes. **

**I didn't proof read this too well, so sorry about any and all mistakes. **

**Hope you like this, here we go. **

* * *

**If You Were Me**

_**By: ForTheWin04**_

**Chapter Five**

* * *

"Maybe?" I asked, astonished.

"Maybe," Freddie clarified.

I leaned back on my bed and balanced the phone between my chin and my shoulder while I painted my toenails blue. "Wow, I can't believe it."

"I know!" he said. "I thought for sure she would've said yes."

It figures that when I take a huge leap and tell Freddie he can ask out Carly, and she says maybe. "Well, that's not _exactly_ a no."

"That's true," Freddie agreed.

I can't say I wasn't a little relived that she didn't immediately say yes. She's second guessing Freddie, and that's fine by me. "Are you sure you wanna date someone who has to put thought process into saying yes, Fred?" I asked.

"Ugh, I don't know, Sammy. I really like her though."

"Okay, I just don't want you getting hurt."

"I can take care of myself."

"I know you can, Freddie," I told him.

"Ugh, this is too stupid!"

"I know, and this even gives me more reason not to like her."

"I still don't see what's all that bad about her."

I frowned, even though he couldn't see my expression. I began to list it out like it was completely obvious. "She's too happy, and giggly that it almost seems fake. She wears too much pink, and did you see how she was dressed last night? She looked like a hooker, Freddie."

"She did not!" Freddie defended.

I ignored him and continued. "She doesn't notice the world around her because she's oblivious, and stupid. She's nothing like me, at all! We _completely_ clash. And to top it all off, she just half rejected you – possibly the coolest guy ever."

"Well that was a pleasant analysis of her Sam," Freddie told me. "And yes, I am the coolest guy ever."

"Don't flatter yourself."

"Too late," he joked. "Now Carly-"

"-Will answer when she's ready."

"Yeah, yeah."

"I still say she's stupid." I clarified.

"Who asked you?" He asked.

I stopped painting my nails for a moment and closed my eyes. "You did."

* * *

My ear buds sat loosely in my ears as I leaned against the rusted metal of my locker. I could see Carly eyeing me from across the hallway, but I attempted to appear as if I didn't see here standing there – as if I didn't care. I drummed my fingers aimlessly on my leg, in a quick attempt to look bored/busy as she made the slow journey across the stretch of the hallway and stalled right before she was standing right next to me. "Hey, Sam!"

I turn and look at her. "Hi," I mumbled awkwardly as I took one of the buds out of my ear.

"Are you alright?" she asked. "I just saw that you were having a rough night at the party."

"I'm fine," I told her blankly.

She nodded, clearly not having much to say. "That's good!" I turned away again, prepared to tune back into my music, but she spoke again: "So, I'm sure Freddie has told you he asked me out."

I looked her way again, and shrugged. "Yeah, I know."

"Freddie's a smart guy, right Sam?" she asked.

"Smart?" I questioned. "Sure, he gets good grades and stuff."

She nodded again. "That's what I thought," she mumbled more to herself then to me. She looked around quickly before returning her attention to me. "And you're sure you're not into him?"

I swallowed – busted. _Play it cool, Sam._ "Nope, he's just my best guy friend," I lied. "I really don't even think of him in that way!"

She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear smiled at me. "Right, of course!" she said loudly. "Thanks so much for all your help Sam!" She turned on her heels to leave, and I watch her walk back down the hall.

"No problem," I called after her, not sure if she could hear me or not. She disappeared into the next hall, but I could see her flag over another girl in my grade – Stacy- as she did so. I left my spot on the lockers, and slowly made my way over to where they were standing. However, I stayed around the corner pretending to text, so I could hear their conversation.

I'm not much of an eavesdropper, but something about Carly talking about Freddie privately made my stomach turn. I focused in on the conversation, listening to every word passed between the two girls.

* * *

"Where've you been?" Freddie asked me sternly.

I blinked. "Around."

"And you couldn't have called me?"

"Nope."

I knew this conversation was stupid, but I guess you can't expect much when Freddie shows up at your house late one night. A look crossed his face that I couldn't quite place: a mixture of curiosity and disappointment. So he was mad at me – most likely because I hadn't been returning his calls for the last 48 hours – but it's not like any of this was my fault!

He shifted his weight from one foot to the other and looked straight at me – clearly demanding answers instead of posing more questions. I leaned on the doorframe and looked at my fingernails. "Look, I've just been busy. Kay?"

"Sam, you stormed out of school yesterday and ditched two periods! And didn't even bother to show up at all today."

"So, why do you care where I've been? It's none of your business anyways!" I told him, crossing my arms.

"Okay, what's up with you?" Freddie asked.

I rolled my eyes. "Nothing."

Freddie frowned and I saw the sparkle in his eyes disappear. "Just tell me, Sammy."

"It's seriously nothing," I began. "Carly was just talking to her stupid friend in the hall, and I overheard their conversation. They just said something that I didn't particularly like. Okay?" I said annoyed.

"What did they say? Was it mean?"

"Nah, Carly just said that...that she wasn't too sure about going out with you because you talk about me too much," I told him.

"But why would that bother you?"

"It didn't. Then her friend told her that if the two of you were dating than you would... just forget about me and focus all your attention on Carly..." I said slowly.

"Sam, I thought we covered this. Carly will _never_ replace you!" he said, and ran a hand through his hair.

I sighed. "I know. I know."

He nodded and walked closer to me. "Come here."

A small smile crept its way up to my face, and I walked up to him. He wrapped his arms around me firmly, and I did the same. It was moments like this that I was so thankful to have Freddie in my life. I mean, he was absolutely _perfect_.

I could feel him pulling back, but I kept my arms around him for a few lingering seconds. "I'm so afraid I'm going to lose you," I whispered.

I could feel his breath on my neck as her laughed slightly. "I'm not going anywhere, Sam."

* * *

The cold metal of the bleachers made me sit uncomfortably in my spandex shorts on the sidelines of the flag football game. We were down by two touchdowns, and I was looking at the playbook – trying to find a play that just might work.

Someone had come up behind me, but I didn't bother looking. I just figured it was a member of the student body coming late to the game, and were just taking their seat now. But when I felt them lightly tap on my shoulder I dramatically sighed and turned around. "Jeeze, Freddie. What do you want?"

He frowned. "Nice to see you too."

"Look," I said slowly. "I'm a little busy right now, so-"

"This'll only take a sec," he interjected. "So I've been thinking about the whole Carly thing. And you know, you're right. If she has to actually _think_ about saying yes, then she isn't worth the wait."

"Good for you, now go away," I said, barely looking at him.

"Ugh, whatever," he grumbled and began to walk away.

I turned around and looked at him. "Okay, sorry. It's just, the game is kinda going on right now!" I huffed. "Call me tonight."

"Kay, good luck Sam!" he said before patting my head and jogging off.

I shook my head and glanced my attention back to the playbook. I noticed a new play added just a few weeks ago... interesting. Yeah, this just might work out after all.

* * *

Twisting the cap of his juice bottle in his hand, Freddie still tried to convince me that he was over Carly.

"You know," he said in between attempts to rid the bottle from its lid, "Carly was too dumb for me!"

"Mhm." Clearly becoming bored with the topic, I replied without much emotion.

But on he went. "And besides, I can do way better!"

"Yeah."

He stopped fiddling with the bottle lid, and turned to look at me. "Sarcastic, are we?"

"First, gimme this," I told him grabbing the orange juice bottle from his hand and screwing off the lid with ease.

"I loosened it for you," he mumbled under his breath.

I took a sip and continued. "Second, I don't mean to be sarcastic. You're just talking about Carly a lot dude."

"But, it's all negative!"

"So? It's still equally annoying."

"Oh shut-up," he said quietly.

"But you were right. You can do tones better than her," I added.

"Thanks," he said with a smile. "Now give me back my juice."

I rolled my eyes and handed him the container. "Look I got to jet. I'll see you later, call me tonight. Okay?"

After giving him a quick hug, I turned to leave.

"Wait!" he called after me. "What if I need to open more juice?"

* * *

The sound of my ring tone woke me up around 2:23 am. I groaned and rolled over in my bed, ignoring it entirely.

After that, it rang two more times – the person trying to reach me being very consistent.

Rubbing my eyes I got up and grabbed the pair of purple skinny jeans I had been

wearing yesterday from the pile on my floor. Still ringing, I grabbed my phone out of the pocket, and answered the call when I recognized the number.

"Freddie, this better be good."

"SAM! Finally you answered!" he screamed.

"Yeah, sorry. I had better things to do at two o'clock then answer mysterious phone calls." I grumbled as I tossed the jeans back onto the carpet.

"Someone's feisty."

"Shut-up," I said with a yawn. "Now what did you want?"

"Come over!" he yelled, before the dial tone filled my ear.

* * *

I walked up slowly to Freddie's apartment door and weakly knocked.

"Sam!" he yelled when he finally answered. Springing forward he hugged me tightly. "This is the best night of my life!"

I smiled at the feeling of his arms wrapped so tightly around me. I returned his hug – with some shameful hope it would last.

Pulling back as quickly as he had sprung towards me, he ran inside. "Come here!" he yelled.

Rolling my eyes, I followed him in.

He crashed down on the couch with a huge grin on his face.

I sat down next to him and crossed my legs. "Okay, why are you so happy at two thirty in the morning?"

"Around ten, I signed into Splash Face, right? And Carly starts messaging me!"

I bit the inside of my lip, realizing where this was going. I nodded slowing, signaling him to continue.

"And we've been talking ever since! Like all night!"

"About what?" I questioned, a little sourly.

"Just, everything," he said with a smile. "Then the best thing ever happened!"

"Oh yeah," I said, counting the colours in his eyes. "What's that?"

"She said she'd go out with me!"

A weak smile crossed my face as I tried to look happy for him, "Oh, yay!"

* * *

**Boo Creddie! Haha, sorry. Just saying. **

**HAHA! I typed Creddie in and my spell check said it was spelt wrong... and some of the alternate options to change it to were cruddy and cruddier ;)**

**Creddie is cruddier! **

**Anyways...**

**This part: "'Oh yeah,' I said, counting the colours in his eyes." Was inspired by the Taylor Swift song I'd Lie. Because it says "He tells me about his night and I count the colors in his eyes." And I was listening to the song and decided the add that in. **

**And about the U in colour, I'm Canadian... give me a break ;)**

**OMG! See that button down there! Apparently, if you click it, monkeys will dance across the screen! ...but if not, you might as well leave a review...yeah.**

**I'm lame.**


	6. Six

**A.N: PLEASE READ: iLove You seriously broke my heart. **

**It was just so sad, and stupid, and I'm actually so mad about it it's not even funny! I legit cried! Gjgeiohgkdahvvo! Why would Dan even put them together in the first place if he was going to knock them down? I mean, it was obvious that they weren't going to be the perfect couple! But to make them break-up after three episodes is just setting everyone up for disappointment. It was just mean, not entertaining. I am not pleased. **

**I actually have no hope right now [bursts into tears]. **

**That's probably why I'm updating this so soon. Normally it takes me forever to update (sorry about that, by the way). But last night I was just so mad about everything I was like "I NEED TO WRITE SOMETHING!" Haha, so here it is: Chapter six. Only 15 days after chapter five! A new record! **

**But on the plus side: you know what I absolutely love? Reviews for this story that say "I hate Carly!" because you are totally supposed to! In the actual show, I do like Carly (except for right now because – even though it was unintentional – she was the cause of the Seddie break-up!). But in this story: she's almost like the bad guy! So I'm so glad that I'm doing a good job of making her seem irritable! **

**This chapter isn't as choppy as the last, but it's KIND OF a filler chapter. So sorry about that. **

**Sorry for any mistakes: I didn't proof read this too well, because I wrote it in the middle of a rampage, and now I have a project to do. **

**This chapter takes place about a month after the end of chapter five. **

* * *

**If You Were Me**

_**By ForTheWin04**_

**Chapter 6**

* * *

Sitting with them at lunch makes me ill.

Not even the ham sandwich on my tray looks appetizing right now, not with Freddie and Carly giggling and flirting on the other side of the table. Sitting too close for comfort, his arm practically glued around her waist, her annoying laugh, his giant crooked smile. It's enough to make me want to give up lunch for the rest of my life.

I've suffered through weeks of these lunches, feeling sick to my stomach at the sight of them together. But today – today has to be the worst lunch in the _history of man kind_.

They walked towards the table, hand-in-hand, and I already knew I was doomed for disaster.

They took their usual seats across from me and Freddie gave me a small smile. "Hey, Sam," he greets.

"Hi," I replied, knowing already that I won't be a part of the lunch time conversation... again.

Carly scooted up directly beside him and tangled her arms around his neck. I tried to make it look like I wasn't observing their every move – even though I was – by glancing down at my lunch tray, yet still watching from the corner of my eye.

I watched as Freddie put his arms on her waist and smiled straight at her, the twinkle in his eyes even relevant from the angle at which I was watching his every move. "Happy one month anniversary," he whispered, just loud enough for me to hear.

I'm actually shocked I've lasted a month of this without exploding.

Carly giggled loudly and wished him a happy anniversary too, and the two just looked so damn in love that it makes me want puke... and/or burst into flames.

They continued to talk, flirt, and annoy me, without fail. Normally, this is how lunch goes: I sit here in silence and watch them be in "honey-moon" phase and try not to vomit all over both of them.

But today (personally I think somewhere in their twisted minds it was _just_ to piss me off) they kicked it up a notch.

Without warning, Carly grabbed Freddie and kissed him. And it wasn't a little peck – no! That wouldn't _torture_ me enough!

No, _no_. This kiss was long, and wet, and passio– let's just say it was nine different kinds of disgusting.

No big deal, just making out in the cafeteria.

"Hey, you two! Stop that!"

I turned around to see Mr. Howard sternly eyeing Carly and Freddie, trying to stop things before someone got _AIDS_.

They parted and Carly slightly scooted away from Freddie, her cheeks bright red.

"Both of you," Mr. Howard continued, pointing straight at Carly and Freddie. "After school detention this Friday for public display off affection in the cafeteria!"

"But Mr. Howard–" Freddie began.

"No buts, Benson! I will see you and Miss Shay in detention!" he huffed before turning around and exiting the cafeteria, still muttering something under his breath about how disgusting teens were.

For the first time ever, I think I actually liked Mr. Howard.

I glanced over at the pair of them awkwardly, the blushes apparent on both of their faces. I clicked my tongue a few times, in a quick attempt to fill the surrounding silence. "Well," I said randomly. "I'm not hungry, I'll catch you later Freddie."

He turned his head to look at me as I stood up. "Hmm? Oh, _right_, uh, see you, Sam."

I waved slightly towards the two before I turned and left the cafeteria. I made it all the way to my locker before I completely broke down. I could feel tears burning in my eyes, my face getting redder and redder, and I had the overwhelming urge to just _punch_ something. I wadded my hand into a fist before quickly making my way to the bathroom, out of sight for anyone to see me like this.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror, and I didn't recognize myself anymore. I used to look confident, bold, and strong – but right now I look vulnerable, weak... everything I'm not. I couldn't figure out why Freddie being with Carly had so much effect over me.

This is so backwards and wrong that I know it shouldn't be happening at all. I quickly decided that I wasn't going to be weak and upset over this: I needed to hold onto my pride. Taking one last glance at myself, I came to the conclusion that what I needed was to get over Freddie right then and there.

But I already knew inside of me that this goal is going to be extremely hard to achieve.

* * *

My bedroom walls were closing in on me.

I don't think I have ever been so bored in my entire life. I can only compare this to the kind of children who have horrific parents that never let them leave the house – or have a companion of any kind.

I have been contemplating with myself for the last hour whether or not to call Freddie. This never used to be such a big deal, but suddenly I'm afraid to see him. Almost as if when he's around I'm just going to keep falling harder and harder for him – something I couldn't let happen. But my boredom kept telling me that he's my best friend, and there was nothing to fear.

My boredom ultimately won. I collapsed onto my bed and quickly grabbed hold of my cell phone and dialed the numbers I knew so well.

"Hello?" Freddie's excited voice rang through my phone.

"Hey, Fred!" I began, trying to sound as casual as possible. "Want to hit the mall today or something? Because I–"

"Uh, Sam? Today really isn't the best," he explained.

"Oh? What are you up to? Class at the community center with your Mom?" I teased with a laugh.

"Thanks for assuming I have a social life!"

"Anytime."

A small (squeaky) giggle was heard on Freddie's end. "Shut-up!" he said playfully. He wasn't talking to me anymore, but rather to the owner of the girlish laugh.

My eyebrows furrowed. "Uh, who are you with?" I asked.

"Oh, right. I'm walking to the movies with Carly," he informed me. "Sorry, Sam!"

I looked up at my bedroom ceiling with a sigh. "Nah, it's cool."

"We can spend time together this weekend, or something."

"Oh, alright," I agreed. "Sounds good."

You could practically taste the awkward.

"I'll call you afterward," he told me.

"Okay," I agreed, and tried to ignore the side conversation he was having with Carly.

I realized my phone discussion was of no longer interest to him so I simply muttered a quick good-bye and snapped my phone shut.

* * *

Why are the back of Movie Theater's always so cold?

My cold eyes scanned all the possible seats ahead of me, but the dimmed light made it nearly impossible to see anything around me. I blinked and glanced up at the screen – some chick flick I would never had seen otherwise. I shook my head and resumed observing the occupied seats. A cold chill ran across my back at the sight of the couple a few rows before me, and suddenly, I'm not so sure that my coldness has anything to do with the poor heating system in the theater.

His arm is around her tightly, and neither of them are looking towards the screen – only at each other. The girl leans in towards him and pecks his lips. Smiles are to be seen on both of their faces. I find myself rolling my eyes at the sight of this, disapproving at their behaviour.

Then suddenly, I realize what I'm _doing_. Have I honestly sunk so low as to follow Carly and Freddie to the movies and spy on them? Freddie would be ashamed if he – for some reason – were to see me here. I sunk lower in my seat, trying to make myself barely visible, but still have my sights on my best friend and his date.

The thought swims around my head that coming here was a _bad _idea.

But for whatever reason, I couldn't force myself to get up and leave. My eyes were glued to the couple (now making-out) in front of me.

Why does seeing this make me so _damn_ jealous? Freddie is my _best friend_, I should not be jealous at the sight of him kissing another girl! I should be disgusted that someone _would_ kiss him – because the thought is supposed to appall me!

But instead, it intrigues me.

I'm curious of what his lips would feel like on mine, what he tastes like, how being so close to him in that way would feel.

_What_ has the world come to?

Suddenly watching them isn't so fun anymore, and the theater air becomes harder to breathe. Where I used to feel cold, I now feel uncomfortably hot. I stood up, shaking noticeably, and walked straight out of the Movie Theater and onto the street.

I began to walk home with shame washing over me. Shame of what I have done, and maybe more importantly, how I find myself feeling. I find my mind is _trapped_ around Freddie – his image fluttering my brain, making my heart beat faster, and my face get redder.

Lately Freddie sees right through me. Like I'm just floating there in the back of the room, and kept far out of his mind. Like shadows in a faded light – I'm invisible to him now. He finally has all that he ever wanted – the perfect girlfriend. And suddenly, having a best friend just isn't so important to him anymore. Where I used to be a huge part of his world – Carly has appeared, leaving me in the dust. It isn't fair, I've decided. Why should one girl have the right the swoop in out of complete no where and steal Freddie from my grasp? What gave her _that_ right! Because the way I see it, I had him first. Maybe not _romantically_, but he was still placed under the category of _Mine_.

I reach my front door and roughly grab my key from my pocket. I sighed as I unlocked the door.

"Mom?" I called out when I stepped inside. "Mom! Hello?" I walk further inside, and come across a note from my mom sitting promptly on the kitchen table.

* * *

My hollow knocks on the door must've disturbed him. He opened his apartment door and smiled weakly at me. I stepped forward and outstretched my arms. His smile became fuller and he wrapped his arms around me.

"Hey Sam. What's up?"

"My mom, she uh, kind of kicked my out for the night," I explained, remembering her instructions left on the note, and removed myself from him. "She's bringing a date over, or something. Could I stay here?"

I didn't wait for an answer, I just walked right in.

"Yeah, for sure," he allowed. I smiled, until I saw _her_ sitting on his couch.

"Hey Sam!" Carly greeted when she saw me. "How are you?"

I shrugged, playing nice. "No bad. You?"

"I'm _so_ good!" she said with a smile as Freddie came and sat next to her. I walked over and sat on a chair opposite the couch.

I nodded. "Oh yeah? That's cool." I said an attempt to keep some sort of conversation going.

The three of us sat in silence for a few minutes until I heard Carly's phone begin to ring. She pulled it from her pocket and brought it to her ear. "Hello? Oh hey, Mom! No, I'm at Freddie's... what's that? – oh! Okay! Bye!" She ended the call and turned to Freddie. "I have to go," she told him. "Call me tomorrow, okay? I need you to help me on some stupid math assignment!"

"Alright," Freddie agreed. "See you then."

She nodded with a smile before quickly kissing him. "Bye guys," she said before leaving his apartment. After she was gone, I looked at the smile growing on Freddie's face.

"Well don't you look aweful happy."

"You know what, I really am!" he told me.

I tried to smile. _Just look happy for him_ – I was thinking.

"Oh, and thanks for being nice to her Sam. That was really cool of you," he told me after a few seconds of silence.

I nodded. "Yeah, no problem. I guess I can't hate her forever, can I?" I slightly lied.

He stood up, and walked into the kitchen. "Wanna make some dinner or something?" he asked.

I walked over to him and smiled. "Sure."

He opened the fridge and looked in with a smile. "Well that might be a problem, because I have no food!" I laughed and look at him, smile wide. When did I start finding him so damn adorable?

"Wanna go out?" he asked.

"Huh?" I questioned loudly, my eyes snapping wide open.

His expression changed and he suddenly looked confused. "Do you wanna go out and pick up some dinner?" he repeated.

"Oh! Yeah, right! Hah, sure." I replied awkwardly.

He nodded and moved around me – his arm brushing past mine, leaving a warm trail where our skin touched – towards the apartment door and opened it, "Well then let's go Blondie!" he said with a smile, and I followed behind him – mentally slapping myself in the forehead.

* * *

**Hah, the ending amused me. But poor Sam though, right?**

**I hope you guys are still into this story! I love it so much! It's like my baby, haha! **

**Best line in this whole chapter? "No big deal, just making out in the cafeteria." **

**JUST YOU GUYS WAIT! The next chapter is a game changer! It's probably my favourite so far! It will blow your friggin socks off! **

**Please review and tell me what you're thinking, what you like and dislike so far: and you might get a cookie! :D **

**...or probably not. Nahhh you won't. Nope. **

**Buuuuut, review anyways! GO NOW! For the children! **


	7. Seven

**A.N: This chapter is another month after the last chapter. **

**It's the shortest chapter yet: BUT it's probably the most plot changing one so far! **

**I love this chapter.**

**...that it all. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly, duh. **

* * *

If You Were Me

_By ForTheWin04_

Chapter Seven

* * *

Freddie thought it would be a good idea if Carly and I became better friends. Where this decision came from, I have no idea, but I figure it might make things a little easier on me if I can at least grow to stand being in the same room as the girl without wanting to throw a brick at her face.

The three of us sat at the park on a rusted metal bench – Freddie on the right, me on the left, and Carly in the middle. The conversations being passed around were non-important and brief. Topics like school (how are you liking the semester so far?), and anything else you can image equally irritating had come up.

I glanced around Carly to see Freddie staring off into the distance, thinking things over. I knew him well enough to know that he was planning something – trying to figure out how to make this work better, because his plan was failing quicker then expected. I smiled at the realization that his concentration face was simply adorable.

Suddenly, he came up with an idea and turned towards me and Carly. "Why don't we get some ice cream or something?" he asked, trying his hardest to keep this rolling.

"Sure!" Carly chimed. "That would be great."

I nodded, much less enthusiastic then Carly had been. "Yeah, alright."

Freddie stood up, and looked over us. "I'll go buy."

We gave Freddie our orders and he made his way to the ice cream truck that was parked on the other side of a play ground in the center of the park.

Carly turned to me, and I quickly noticed the absents of her smile. "What was _that_, Sam?"

I became confused, and looked as such. "Huh?" I questioned.

She crossed her arms in one smooth motion and continued to stare at me. "You were staring at my boyfriend the whole time we've been sitting here!"

"What, no I-" I began, but was cut off by her shaking her head vigorously.

"Yes, you were," she told me matter-of-factly. "I saw you."

I tucked my hair behind my ear and bit my lip distractedly before I spoke. "Oh, sorry. I, uh, I didn't mean to."

She nodded slowly, not fully satisfied with my answer. "Well alright, I guess," she began slowly. "Just make sure it doesn't happen again, okay?"

I nodded. "Fine, okay."

She scratched her head then gave me a funny look. "You keep telling me you don't like him. But then you always act like you do?"

"I don't, I swear." I had found that lying about my feelings towards Freddie had grown increasingly harder as time wore on. I looked up and saw Freddie starting to make his way back over to us, holding our ice cream.

She nodded, more confidently this time. "Noted," she said with a smile. "Sorry about that!"

I smiled back weakly, "Its fine."

She turned towards Freddie who had just returned over to us. He sat down beside her and passed out our ice cream.

"Thanks," I told him as he passed me the bowl.

"Mmm, thanks Baby!" Carly told him with a peck on the cheek. I did everything in my power not to scoff.

"You're welcome," Freddie said to Carly, not me.

I rolled my eyes to no one in particular, and looked down at my ice cream. Suddenly, it didn't look so appetizing anymore.

* * *

My science textbook was out in front of me, different equations swimming across the page, their answers unknown to me. It was so hard to do this without Freddie. Only he could make me semi-focus on my science homework at all, whereas on my own nothing made sense. I know I could simply call and have him come over and study with me, but with Carly's subtle warnings last week at the park, I was afraid to.

But in the back of my mind, I kept thinking about the test I had this Friday, and that there was no way I was ever going to pass it alone.

I clicked my tongue as I thought this over: weighed my pros and cons for each decision. When my mind was finally settled I grabbed my cell phone from where it sat beside me on my bed. I moved through my contacts until I found Freddie's name and quickly dialed his number. _I would invite him to study_, I told myself in my head. _This had no ulterior motives involved_.

He answered quickly, and I found my heart slightly sped up at the sound of his voice. "Hey Sam!"

I smiled at the fact that he sounded genuinely happy to hear from me. "Hi Fred. I'm studying for science, and I'm so lost, I swear to god!"

He laughed. "Hah, yeah science has never really been you're strong suit."

"Wanna come over? I need serious help over here."

It took him a second to reply, but when he did I was happy at the words I was hearing. "Yeah, haha, sure. I'll be right over."

After saying our good-byes, I hung up my phone and made my way over to a mirror beside my nightstand. I quickly pulled the elastic from my hair and let the bouncy curls fall down to frame my face. I ran my hands through my hair quickly, in an attempt to get rid of any and all knots. I smiled at my reflection, making sure my teeth were okay, before returning to my bed and plopping down. And there I sat, waiting until I heard the sound of my doorbell.

* * *

We sat on my bed, science text book outstretched on his lap. He was explaining...er, something. Not that I was focusing, at least on the science. I _was_, however, focusing on the deep brown of his eyes. They fascinated me, more than gravity and mass. I found myself scooting closer, getting a whiff of him. He smelt like he always had – coffee and cinnamon, with a hint of his mother's disinfectant wipes – surely nothing out of the ordinary. But how come it's never seemed so intoxicating until now?

"Enough of this," I said, reaching over and closing his text book.

"But Sam, you need to know this for the test. And I have to go soon, I'm meeting Carly."

My eye's rolled, and something in my stomach kicked. "_Stop _talking about Carly!" I spat. Can you say _overreaction_? "I haven't spent any alone time with you in, like, forever and you will not _shut-up_!"

"I know, Sam," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "And I'm sorry about that."

"It's okay. I just want my best friend back. _I_ _miss you_." But something in my mind told me it was a lot more serious than that.

"I miss you too, Sam," he said, not meaning it the way I did. I longed for him. I _needed _him in my life, and he didn't share that need. He's got _Carly Shay_.

I scooted even closer, my leg brushing against his.

His hand fell into mine and I squeezed it tightly, before it abandoned mine all together. We sat there, side-by-side, for an eternity until suddenly he looked at the clock on my night stand and sighed. "Sam, I have to go. Carly's waiting for me."

"So you're just ditching me for her, _again?_" I asked sternly.

"Are you mad?"

I blinked. "No, I-I guess not. Just...disappointed."

He put one arm around me, and pulled out his phone with the other. He searched for Carly, and sent her a text.

I read it over carefully as he typed it.

'_Can't hang out today sorry'_

"Oh dear," Freddie said, raising an eyebrow after it had sent. "It looks like my plans have cleared up."

I hugged him tightly. "Thank you, Freddie."

"But missy," he said, shifting away from me. "We're studying."

"Ugh!" I groaned. "_No_, no way."

He reopened the text book and stared down at a page. "Now, where were we?" he began. I rolled my eyes and quickly grabbed the text book off his lap and tossed it across the room. It hit the ground with a smash, and fell open onto a random page.

"Sam I –"

But I cut him off by suddenly grabbing him, and pushing him back on the pillow that rested on the top of my bed. I crawled onto him, sitting on top of his stomach, not quite sure what had come over me.

"Sam! What are you–"

He trailed off as I leaned closer to him, lost in my thoughts and not considering reality. "What's the going rate for a good science tutor these days?" I whispered, so closer to him I could feel is breath on my lips.

I heard him swallow, hard.

Silence momentarily fell over us, and any traces of reality, morals, or conscience had fled form both of our minds.

"I, uh - _a kiss_," He whispered back with lust swimming in his brown eyes. "And we can call it even."

And then his mouth moved over mine. I drew back for a moment, the surprise visible in my eyes, as if I never expected to find myself here, and I was astonished to realize it was a good fit. More slowly this time, I kissed him again.

His hands slid from my hips to my waist, and I deepened our kiss in response, sliding my tongue between his parted lips. I found myself getting the answers to all the questions I had been asking myself for the past few months – what does he taste like? (Cinnamon and _sweet bliss_) Is he a good kisser? (God, _yes_)

But suddenly, something inside me clicked, and I realized what I'm _doing_. I'm making out with my (_taken_) best friend. It's so wrong, yet so right all at the same time. Confusion washed over me at this reality check.

Suddenly, I froze, hoping he'd pull away, praying he wouldn't.

* * *

**Ooooooh! What's going to happen next? The next chapter will start exactly where this one left off, by the way. **

**The more you review: the more motivated I am to update, so go, go, go! **


	8. Eight

**A.N: And finally the cliff-hanger is continued! **

**Like I said at the end of the last chapter, this one takes place immediately after the end of that one. **

**I'm sorry this took so long, my procrastination got the best of me. On top of that, I even said on the one-shot I recently posted that this chapter was going to be out on Saturday, but then I ended up making plans with a friend of mine and suddenly it was Monday! But it's here now, hurray!**

**Disclaimer: Let's see...what do I own? Uhm, nope. No iCarly. **

* * *

If You Were Me

_By ForTheWin04_

Chapter Eight

* * *

The minutes began to pass — 2, 5, 7 — and I could still feel his soft lips moving against mine. He had flipped us over somewhere along, and now he towered over me. I could feel his strong arms on either side of me, holding me close to him. Yet everything happening felt like a dream to me, and I rested beneath him just waiting until I woke up.

I kept switching in and out of the moment. One minute I would be kissing him so passionately, completely caught up in everything. Then suddenly guilt and reality crashed over me and I'd feel like pulling away from him. I simply didn't know what to do.

_This is what I wanted_, I kept reassuring myself. For months I have been dying to simply kiss Freddie Benson. And here I was: doing just that. And maybe even more intensely then I had ever imagined! I couldn't possibly ruin that, could I?

But he answered this question for me when he abruptly stopped kissing me altogether, and pulled away entirely. He cautiously looked down at me, then I think reality hit him like a ton of bricks. "Oh, my God," he said quietly. "That — I, I don't..."

I blinked beneath him, and bit the inside of my lip. Subtle looks of horror and confusion mixed all into one crossed his face. I didn't know what to do, if I should try to say something or keep quiet. Suddenly, he rolled off of me, plopped down on my bed, and scooted a few feet away from me for good measure. My shirt was twisted around my body and I moved to fix it. He watched me closely as I did so, as if this was the most interesting thing he's ever seen. An awkward silence filled the room, and made me feel sick to my stomach.

"How did that just..?" he began, but trailed off suddenly.

"I-I don't know," I replied weakly, not wanting to sound too bold. I turned by head, and saw his face was burried in his palms. This was something he did when he was stressed or confused — too much school work, his mother's craziness — but never did it have to do with me. He rubbed his eyes before moving his hands away.

"Sam, we just..." he started again, but still couldn't manage to get out a full sentence. "I can't believe that just happened!"

I nodded slowly in agreement, not knowing how to respond just yet.

"Sam," he said as he abruptly sat up. "I have a girlfriend! I mean, oh my God!" He stood from my bed and began pacing my room, but every time he walked back towards my bed he would avoid eye contact and turn before reaching it once again. "How could you?" he asked suddenly, back turned to me.

"What?" I asked, astonished as I too stood up. "You can't _possibly _be blaming this all on me!"

He turned and looked at me with an expression on his face I'd never seen before. "Oh, okay, then who should I blame it on, huh?" he asked rudely.

"This is you're fault too, Benson," I told him in a low yet steady voice. "Not just mine."

He sighed and shook his head, before he made his way to my door. "I need time to think. I-I'll call you later, or something."

The door latched behind him, leaving my room empty, and I was left drowning in my thoughts.

* * *

Freddie didn't call me later. Later that night, later that week, or the week after that. Communication between us had slowed down to a complete stop, and I couldn't fix it. Because I was too scared to call him myself, afraid that I would hear him yell at me again. A sound I had decided that I didn't like too much.

But it wasn't just phone calls. He wouldn't text me, IM me, or even make awkward small talk in the school hallway. It was like I dropped off the face of the planet and he didn't take two seconds to notice.

I don't understand why he kissed me. Afterwards he was so angry that it had taken place, so it doesn't make sense to me why he had done it in the first place. This make my imagination start to spin with the possibility that somewhere inside of him, even for a moment, he might have wanted me, too. I realize I'm crazy to be thinking this way: but it's the only logical explanation I can come up with.

Recently, I realize that the more and more Freddie tries to pull away, the more intrigued with him I become. Almost to a point where it's bordering on _obsession_, a way I never thought I would feel about anyone, let alone Freddie. My crush on him is no longer so little, and soon a bright light gets shined down onto my feelings, bringing them out into the open. Exposing them for all to see. I'm _falling in love_, really hard, and really fast.

But, if I said I was _falling_ in love, that would mean there was still growing room for my feelings. So, that was incorrect. No, _no_. I am not falling in love with Freddie Benson. I am, completely, and absolutely, _in love_ with him. Every goddamn piece of me.

This realization didn't come gradually, as some would expect. Instead, it hit me like a ton of bricks in the stomach. A number of things just added up, and there it was right in the sum. _Love_. Written clear as day. It was when I realized I stare at him constantly. At lunch (where I now sit with my football friends), in the halls, old pictures of me and him, and any other glance I got. It was when I found myself re-reading old text messages we'd sent to one another. It was when I would stare at my empty bed, and remember that afternoon we had kissed. I would remember the way he held me, the way he felt over me, and most importantly, the way I felt when he stormed out.

It was when I would see him making-out with Carly _every single day_ in the school hallway. He would walk her to her fourth period class after lunch, right before the bell. They would hold hands and hug, act as if they were the happiest couple on the goddamn planet. Then the bell would ring, reminding them and the rest of the student body that class was beginning. He would lean down, hover over her slightly, and then kiss her in plain sight for everyone to see. It hurts me more that she gets this every single day, and I only got to experience it once and it is so unlikely that it will ever happen again.

* * *

I found myself sitting in the library one day at lunch, simply because I wasn't in the mood to endure a lunch talking about football, while secretly taking glances at Carl and Freddie across the lunch room. I had had enough of them being together, and was too sick of it to even look their way anymore.

There was nothing on the table in front of me except for an orange peal that belonged to the orange I had just ate, and a half empty water bottle. I have to laugh at the irony that I stated that the bottle was half empty, not half full.

I was concentrating so hard on my thoughts that I barely noticed the chair next to me slid out. I turned my head to see Freddie sitting down into the empty seat. He gave me a weak smile, and I nodded my head back at him. I felt a small rush of gladness come over me when I saw him acknowledging my existence, but didn't want to react too quickly.

"Why are you in here?" he asked quietly. "I'd never thought I'd see you skipping out on lunch. Especially not on taco day."

I simply shrugged at him, and attempted to avoid eye contact. "I dunno," I said. "I guess I'm not hungry."

"Sam, you're _always_ hungry."

"Not today," I said sternly.

Everything in me just wanted to be nice to him, and forgive him for ignoring me all this time. I had missed him so much, and nothing sounded better than us being on good terms again. But in the back of my mind, I knew that he at least needed to explain to me why he hadn't been around lately before I jumped back into our friendship, no hard feelings.

He ignored my rude tone, and turned to face me a little better. "So, we haven't talked in a while..." he began slowly.

_You make it sound like it's my fault, _my head told me to say. But I just couldn't bring myself to do it. "Yeah, I'm aware."

"Sorry I've been distant lately. I've just been... confused." Yeah, _those_ are the words I wanted to hear. "But you've got to admit," he continued. "I had a pretty good reason. I mean, for a minute there, I actually thought you _liked_ me."

Whoever said that words could kill was right. He said this with such an aweful tone, as if me liking him was the worst possible scenario he could've came up with. I wanted to hold back, lie through my teeth, and say something along the lines of: _You seriously thought that I would like you?_ But something overcame me, as if I saw this as an opportunity, and instead I said this. "Is that thought so impossible?"

"Huh?" He sounded surprised. "Uh, well, no. I guess not. But–"

"You made it sound like the idea of my liking you is the most insane thing that you'd ever heard," I told him.

He looked confused for a moment, and his answer definitely clarified that confusion was exactly how he felt. "Well of course that isn't insane, exactly. I just didn't, y'know, think you would feel that way."

I realized at this point that I had already said too much, and that it was time to tell him how I really felt about him. I felt my heart racing, and my palms were sweaty. I let out a loud breath, and let the words fall out of my mouth. "Well I do," I said quietly. His expression changed so quickly, and soon his eyes had slightly widened and his cheeks turned red. "I really _do_ like you, Freddie."

He swallowed loud enough for me to hear, and rubbed the back of his neck. "Oh... well, I, uh..." he began, and him not being able to form a complete sentence made it hard for me to breath. "It's just... Carly."

_Carly_. It was one simple word, and yet it made me want to rip my hair out. "Look I get that it's just–"

"H-How long have you felt this way for?" he asked, cutting me off.

"Uhm, wow, I guess since Tommy Gold's party," I said honestly. "At least, that's when I first, y'know, felt that way."

He wrung he hands, and the awkwardness between us was so strong that you could've felt it from a mile away. "That was in October," he said quietly.

"I, uh, I realize it's a long time," I said, tripping over my words. I felt like the more I talked, and the more I tried to explain, the more I was digging myself into a bigger, and bigger hole.

"So you've felt this way the entire time I've been with Carly?" he asked, astonished.

"Yeah, I guess so."

A silence fell over us, but I couldn't look at him. I knew this conversation was going to end with me getting hurt, one way or another. _I just want to stay friends. I can't handle being your friend if you feel this way. Did you actually think you had a chance? _The different scenarios were swimming through my head, each worst than the last. I just hoped that he would take it easy on me.

Finally he cut though the silence, but what he said was the worst thing I'd heard so far that day. "Is that why you kissed me?"

This made me so mad that I had the urge to hit him. My hands had formed fists, but I kept them at my sides. "Are you _kidding_ me?" I spat. "Do you not recall you asking me to kiss you?"

I spoke so loudly that, had this been a movie, an old librarian would've popped out from behind a bookshelf and shushed me. My words had probably rung in his ears. He turned and looked away from me. I knew I was right, and so did he. I could still remember the words he had said to me: _A kiss and we can call it even. _He had no response, because he knew he was guilty of those same words.

"Obviously something came over you that day," I said to him. "For whatever the reason, you had wanted to kiss me."

"Maybe it was because you _climbed on top_ of me," he mumbled under his breath.

The room suddenly got really hot and I couldn't even stand to be near him after that remark. I got to my feet and I turned to leave.

"Sam, wait, I was kidding!" I heard him call. I but didn't care anymore. All I wanted to do was to get out of there, and get away from Freddie.

I left the library, and cursed the fact that he ever came in to sit with me.

* * *

**Here you go, chapter eight! Please review! **


	9. Nine

**I'm so sorry, honestly. I haven't updated this in three months and to be totally honest it's because of my laziness, and extreme lack of inspiration. However, I'm not giving up on this story. I've worked too hard on it not to see it though. I know exactly what's going to happen in the remaining chapters, all I have to do now is write them. **

**Please just be patient with me. And to be honest, you guys have been! I love your support for this story. All of you who follow this story are amazing. I seriously love you. **

**Fun fact: one of my OC's in this chapter also appears in a different story I wrote on Fiction Press called "Perfect Situation". Just saying. Hah! **

**Okay, so here is chapter nine! It's long overdue, so I hope it lives up to any expectations you may have. **

**By the way, I didn't proof read this, like at all. I'm so lazy. So I apologize in advance for spelling mistakes. **

* * *

**If You Were Me**

_**By: ForTheWin04**_

**Chapter Nine**

* * *

Silence is a funny thing. When it's what you want the most, its presence is appreciated greatly. When it's what you need, silence is like you're best friend. However, when the thing you want most is another life form to talk to, and yet none are around to serve that purpose, silence is a _deadly_ enemy.

Right now, it's a foe, not a friend.

I looked down, to see my feet dangling off the edge of my bed, not yet touching the cool hardwood floor that lay beneath them. I find myself thinking that this is the only time in my existence that no noise whatsoever is around to be heard. _Nothing_. It's one of those silences where in burns, and rings in your ears, and I've decided I didn't like it one bit.

Over the past week, I realized the downside of only having one close friend. Because the minute that friend is no longer around, you have nobody. I've been all by myself. On a few occasions, I've considered calling up some girls from football and arranging something with them, but I always end up finding their contact, and never making a call. It feels like I almost want to feel sorry for myself, like deep down I want to sit and mope around about the loss of my only friend. I'm pressing the pity onto myself, and I don't know why.

A few hours after I told Freddie how I felt, he tried to call me. When I saw his name light up my phone screen, I debated answering it throughout every ring it made, but I never did. At that point in time I just wasn't ready to talk to him yet. I figured he would call again, after giving me some time to sort out what I wanted to say. Sadly, he didn't call again. It was like he reached out to me and gave me one chance to grab on, but since I didn't, he was done.

I must've freaked him out in the reveal of my feelings.

* * *

The buzz in the hallway at school was unavoidable. Excitement flowed from person to person, and the enthusiasm for the topic at hand was noticeable in every person it reached. This could only mean one thing: Tommy Gold was having another party. Flyers had been stuffed into lockers, taped to trash cans in the cafeteria, hanging from stalls in the bathrooms, and posted on the bulletin board in the front of the school (later to removed for not being "regulation"). The word had gotten out pretty quickly, and everyone in sight was ready to party.

Well, with the exception of me. I really didn't have a positive experience at Tommy's last party, and hadn't been planning to go through that hell again. That is until the entire football team decided it would be fun to go together, and (of course) it wouldn't be as enjoyable without the captain. So there I was, being roped into attending.

* * *

This party was even bigger than the one at the beginning of the year. It was like there was no where to breathe in his house, let alone sit. I was leaning against a wall in Tommy's kitchen, talking with Cameron, a girl from my football team with long red hair. She always wore a set of colourful medal bracelets that clanked when she moved her arm.

"This is lame," Cameron said, looking at the plastic red cup in her hand. "I heard the guys' hockey team was going to be here."

"Cam," I said, while I opened a cooler and fished for a beer. "Don't you have a boyfriend?"

"Haha, hey, that doesn't mean I can't explore my options!"

I laughed too. That was Cameron, always trying to step up her game. "Fair enough," I said back to her.

"So where's you're boyfriend tonight?" she asked me.

I pulled the tab on my beer, and shook my head. "Don't have one," I told her, even though she already knew.

"Come on, Sam. You're _totally_ hooking up with that brunette guy," she said with a knowing smile.

"Freddie?" I asked, fighting every urge not to sound to bitter. "Nah, we are just friends." _If that_.

"Well do you like him?" she asked while tucking a chunk of red hair behind her ear and her bracelets chimed as she did as such.

I shrugged, and took a sip of my beer. "It's complicated," I told her, as if it was that simple. And I wish it was, because Freddie and I were way past complicated.

"If you like him, it can't be _that_ complicated. Plus, isn't he like in love with you?" she asked.

This surprised me, and I shook my head. "Not that I'm aware of. He has a girlfriend."

She looked at me, and then shrugged. "Well then he cannot be too interested in her, because last I heard he was _so_ hung up on you."

So much confusion hit me at once, and I didn't know how to process the information I was currently hearing. Cameron, a girl not anywhere near the same clique as Freddie, was claiming he had feelings for me? It didn't add up. "Where did you hear this?" I asked, searching for answers.

"Its like _common knowledge_!" she said, then took a sip of her drink. "It's so obvious he's been head over heals for you since like the eighth grade! Ask anyone here."

"I don't–"

"Griffin!" Cameron called, ignoring my unfinished request. At the call of his name, Ryder Griffin made his way over to us. He was Tommy's best friend, and one of the most popular guys in my grade. Ryder is tall, with dirty brown hair, a cocky attitude, and a big head. Coincidently, Cameron constantly brings up how attractive he is.

"Sup Cameron?" he greats with a wide smile.

"You know Sam, right?" she said, gesturing towards me. Ryder eyes me, a large smile never leaving his face.

"You're the captain of Cam's team, right?" he asked, figuring out my identity. He doesn't even wait for a response. "Yeah, _yeah_! I know you! How's it going?"

I shrugged. "Alright. I'm not much of a partier."

"Oh come on, get into the mood of things! It's going to be an awesome night!" he said with a reassuring squeeze of my shoulder.

I smiled, and turned to Cameron for her to move on the conversation because small talk wasn't my strong suit. She turned to Ryder. "So, I have a question for you. You know that Freddie kid? What do you think his relationship with Sam is like?"

He laughed quickly, and batted his head around in contemplation. "Freddie? I can't really place – oh! Wait, you mean that guy who's totally in love with her?"

I think my heart stopped.

"That's the one," Cameron said. To me, she added, "I told you so!"

"_So_ Cameron," Ryder began. "I forgot to ask you..."

That was about the moment that I spaced out from my surroundings. It couldn't be true. Freddie had just rejected me days earlier, so if he really was in love with me than that would've been the moment to come clean. And besides, he was dating Carly, and I knew how much she meant to him. He was in love with Carly, not me. Ryder and Cameron were just mistaken. They didn't know Freddie like I did.

Or maybe, they had been more observant of my own surroundings than I ever was. Suddenly, flashbacks and memories began to swim before my eyes, one after another. Like a movie, bits and pieces of my past with Freddie whizzed through my head, until finally something clicked. It was like that puzzle piece that had been missing for years, causing something to always remain incomplete. Yet on the day you least expect to, you finally find it between the couch cushions and it is able to fall into its place its proper place. Suddenly something that could never be completed finally becomes whole. That is how this realization felt. Freddie Benson was _in love_ with me. Or, at least, he used to be. It explained everything that I never could: why he hated Derek Hanson, why he always obsessed over whether or not I had a crush on anyone, and why he wanted to make sure I was okay with him dating Carly. That was most likely his last straw. He probably thought that if I felt the same way than I would terminate the relationship. But when I didn't, he decided that he didn't have a chance with me and went for Carly.

My mind began to figure all this out, and shock took over every part of me. That's why he was so quick to kiss me back that day in my room, and why he was so hard on himself for doing it – because he had been hiding those feelings inside for so long. That's why he was so surprised when I said I liked him. He had probably convinced himself time and time again that I didn't feel that way about him, so actually feeling the words changed everything he had grown to believe. He probably didn't start to get over me until his relationship with Carly got serious.

And everyone saw it but me. When he would put his arm around me, or hug me tightly against him, I simply saw my best friend. But everyone around me saw it for what it really was: affection.

"Sam?" I heard Cameron say, bringing me back into reality. "You okay there?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine. It's just a lot to take in," I said quickly, exhaling.

"What, Freddie being in love with you? I can't believe you didn't see it before. It was in ridiculously noticeable," she told as she readjusted the strap of her tank top, and her bracelets jingled once again.

I was about to respond when her boyfriend walked into the room and took over her attention.

"Cameron!" he said with a wide grin.

She greats him with a hug, before kissing him. I realized I was no longer wanted around, so I moved from my spot on the wall and worked my way back into the party. I began scanning the room when I saw Carly heading out the front door. The night was still early, and the party wasn't even in full swing. There was no reason I could think of that would cause her to leave so early. I was still focusing on the door when I heard my name being called.

I turned around to see Freddie sitting on the couch, looking drunk out of his mind, calling out to me. "Sam, come 'ere!"

I walked over to Freddie, weaving through a group of people in the process. He was on the couch, a dopey grin on his face. He scooted over, leaving just enough room for me to sit down next to him, but I didn't move. I just stared at him, still dumbfounded about the realizations and connections I had made earlier. True or not, they were still prominent in my mind.

"Well sit down!" he directed me as he grabbed my wrist and pulled me down beside him. I looked at him from where I sat next to him. Seeing him in this state was weird for me. I was used to him being the responsible one, but right now he was quite contradictory to that.

He lifted a hand and began to stroke my cheek. "You're beautiful," he whispered to me, so only I could hear him. I smiled, a way to say thanks, but I didn't actually respond. "I mean it."

I was about to say something back, when he darted forward and pressed his lips against mine, hard. I heard someone around us whistle, cheering Freddie on. But I didn't want to kiss him, not in this way. I pulled back and pulled out of his grasp. "Freddie, what are you doing?"

"C'mon, Sam," he said, and tried to lean in again but I stood up.

"Freddie, you're drunk," I said firmly.

He shook his head, clearly underestimating the amount of alcohol he had consumed. "No, I'm not! Come, sit back down."

"You have a girlfriend," I tired again to make him stop. But we had already drawn attention to ourselves.

"But _you want me_," he said in a slow voice, with a large grin noticeable on his face. After his comment, there was a chorus of _ooooo_'sfrom the people around us. The fact that he said that when people where already caught up in our conversation was too much.

"Go to hell," I said under my breath. Then I crossed the room and went out the door, just like Carly had done before me, only a few minutes earlier.

* * *

**It's weird, because I planned this chapter like a year ago, and to actually write it felt weird. It was like I was finally putting my thoughts into words. I don't know, I'm weird. **

**This chapter seems kind of awkward to me, and I really don't know how I feel about it as of yet. But anything Sam is feeling right now that seems left out will be put into the next chapter.**

**Review, please? Because you love me? Please?**


	10. Ten

**Three months wait for that last chapter was ridiculous, I'm sorry! So I kicked it into high gear for this one, and it's earlier than usual! So that is always good news!**

**I wrote half of this in the middle of the night. Apparently that's when I'm actually inspired to write. Who knew?**

**By the way, I loved my OC Cameron in the last chapter so much, I decided to bring her back. But basically, she is only there because I need somebody for Sam to talk to about everything that's happening. **

**Disclaimer: Nope.**

* * *

If You Were Me

Chapter 10

_By: ForTheWin04_

* * *

"I don't know how it got around," Cameron said, peering around me to see that students passing were still glancing in my direction. "I mean, it's not like you've told anyone. You barely even admitted it to me!"

By _it, _she meant my secret feelings for Freddie; which apparently weren't so secret anymore. After Freddie had announced that I wanted to be with him at the party, combined with my storm-off, everyone had come to the (accurate) conclusion that I had feelings for him. Suddenly, I was top gossip. It was like they had never heard of somebody having a crush before.

"Freddie kind of blurted it out at the party on Saturday," I explained to Cameron, causing her to nod. As I said this, I had to avoid eye contact with anyone who took an interest in me as they passed.

"Seriously?" Cameron said as she pulled her bag up higher on her shoulder. The movement was joined with the sound of her bracelets hitting against one another. "That's _harsh_!"

"Tell me about it," I said with a sigh. "I just hate that the entire student body is involved in my personal life all of a sudden." And they were. Me liking Freddie was apparently big news.

Cameron nodded. "I know that feeling! When I broke up with my last boyfriend Tyler, it was devastating. Then he went around and told everyone that I was a psycho girlfriend, and everyone thought I was an obsessive freak! Totally horrifying," she told me.

Only, I didn't think Cameron quite understood what I was going through. A girl like her could have a new date lined up within a few days, even after being a so-called "psycho girlfriend". However, when it was me, I couldn't hold onto a boyfriend if my life depended on it. Even me having a crush was a big deal. Although, I knew inside my head that it was mostly just because of who the crush as on, but I still didn't think anymore was justifiable to share their opinions in my love life.

Cameron then caught a glimpse of her boyfriend passing by, and shot me a smile. "Sorry, Sam," she sad as she backed off. "Duty calls."

I let out a silent laugh and waved her off. "Bye, Cam."

I quickly turned on my feet, and was surprised when I crashed into someone who was only a few feet behind me. They turned around and looked at me, and it was then I realized that it was Ryder Griffin. "Hey Sam!" he said with a smile.

"Ryder, hey," I said with a forced smile.

"Your name's been tossed around a lot today, huh?"

"Yeah," I said with a nod. "That's not something I'm used to."

"So is Freddie you're boyfriend now?" he asked, making my heart sink.

I shook my head, and then swallowed loudly. "No," I answered slowly. "He has a girlfriend. We're just friends."

"Oh, sorry!" he said with a small blush. "I didn't know."

"It's fine," I said as I looked past him and saw the front doors of the school. "I'll talk to you later, Ryder."

After telling him this, I slipped past him and walked towards the exit. Once outside, the cool air surrounded me, and I finally felt like I could breathe again. I hated how everyone thought they knew my life: Cameron thought she knew what I was going through. Ryder thought he knew the relationship status between me and Freddie. When in reality, no one knew the truth about what was happening in my life. Sometimes, not even me. I felt a new rush of cold air pierce my skin, and it sent shivers down my spine.

"Sam," a voice from behind me said. "You look freezing."

I turned around, excepting to see Ryder, but was surprised when Freddie stood before me, holding out a grey sweater I had seen him wear many times. Normally, I would have rejected it, but seeing as I was so cold, I took it and threw it on. It immediately began to warm my arms, but that only solved one looming problem.

"Thanks," I tried, while I tapped my fingers on my leg impatiently.

"I, uh, haven't seen you in a while."

"Yeah I've noticed we haven't seen each other a lot lately," I got out, stumbling over my sentences.

Freddie began to walk towards me slightly. "Yeah, what's up with that? I mean, before the party, we hadn't talked in about a month..."

"Hmm...I can't imagine why."

"Look," he began when he finally sat down beside me. "I know some _stuff_ happened between us before, and at the party, but it was no big deal, right?"

_No. Big. Deal._

I wanted to take those three words and shove them _down his throat!_

"Right," I began, the sarcasm and anger dripping in my voice. "Because you trying to shove your tongue down my throat is _no big deal_. Happens all the time!"

"No, you're right," he said slowly. "That was not cool of me. I know I've been a real jerk lately, but you've got to see me through. Hearing you say that you liked me was something I never expected, and it was weird to hear. I guess I overreacted, but but it was just shocking for me." I can't help but notice that he never said me liking him was a bad thing. "And about the party, I'm sorry about that. I was too drunk to register anything! To be totally honest, I don't even remember doing it. Some other random people had to tell me about it. I feel like such an asshole."

"That's an accurate description," I said with a smile, teasing him.

"Look, Sam, all I want is for us just to get back to normal. I know I've screwed up a lot recently, and I've been a shitty friend, but I'm done with that, okay?" he said, causing me to smile wider.

"That sounds perfect," I told him.

"Good," he said to me with a smile to match mine. "Normalcy here we come."

And suddenly, I felt that everything once again had the potential to be okay.

* * *

Tucking a piece of curled brown hair behind her ear, Carly took the step closer to me and finally looked up into my eyes. "So, uhm, I hear that you have a thing for my boyfriend," she let out slowly.

I realized now that my good mood was about to be shattered yet again.

"Yeah," I said with a sigh. "That's what's been going around."

"So it's true then?" she asked me.

I honestly didn't know how to answer this. "I guess so."

"So all that stuff about only being friends... all that time you were just straight up lying to me?" she asked with a slow cross of her arms.

"I wasn't trying to lie to you," I told her. "I was trying to get myself out of Freddie's business. I didn't want to mess up his first real relationship."

"Well," she said. "I guess that was considerate of you, but it still doesn't make me okay with this. I guess I just don't know where you're coming from."

"Today, someone asked me if he and I were together," I began and slowly lifted my head to look up at her blank face. "And you don't even know how much it hurts me to reply, 'No, we're just friends.'"

She nodded. "I see."

"I'm sorry?" I tried with a sympathetic smile. "If I could stop these messed up feelings I would."

"Look, I just think it would be better if you didn't hang around him anymore."

"What?" I said, raising my voice. "He's my _best _friend! I have just as much of a right to see him as you do."

"Excuse me? I happen to be his girlfriend!"

"I don't know who you think you are, but you are _not _going to steal my best friend from me, got it!" Pink flushed to my cheeks, and my hands rested in fists on my hips.

"But if you had your way, he wouldn't just be a friend, would he?"

Taking her words into consideration, an answer never left my mouth. I just stared at her, biting my lip.

"That's what I thought."

She turned on her heals and began to leave, before turning back to look at me one more time. "And if I catch you talking to him, you're going to wish you didn't."

I was taken aback by this comment. "Was that a threat?"

"No," she said with a smirk. "It's a fact."

* * *

**CARLY'S TRUE COLOURS ARE REVEALED! Haha! I'm sorry this chapter is shorter than usual, I just got done with what I needed to faster than normal. But just a warning, all the chapters from here on out will probably be this length. I can't inspire myself enough to write two more pages anymore! **

**And there are only about 3 or 4 chapters left! I'm going to miss this story so much!**

**Please review! **


	11. Eleven

**A.N: Please, do not hate me. I am so very sorry that I abandoned this story for a while. My computer has been having some serious issues lately, and using it was just a pain in the ass. I have actually had this chapter planned out for quite some time now, but no where to write it. Luckily, yesterday was my birthday, and I got a laptop! So now I can update, you know, not after four months. Man, I suck. I'm really sorry guys! I will try to update the last few chapters WAY more often now that I have my laptop. **

* * *

If You Were Me

_By ForTheWin04 _

Chapter 11

* * *

Music was a device that I always used to get over something that was bothering me. Blasting it into my ears seemed to take over my mind, at least during the four minute duration of any average song. But as soon as the final notes hit, and silence once again overcame my brain, any and all bad feelings rushed back to me.

I had a pair of blue headphones on, not being one for earbuds, and I was listening to my current favourite indie CD. Through the volume of the music, I barely caught the sound of the door to my house being banged on. I rose from my spot on the couch and made my way to the door. I opened it to reveal Freddie. His hands were in his pockets, most likely balled up in fists, and his face was burning red. "Hi," he said emotionlessly as he pushed past me to enter my house.

"Come in?" I tried, with a small giggle. Freddie wasn't laughing. So I tried again. "What's wrong, Fred?"

"Carly and I had a huge fight," he began. "I mean, it was so out of the blue, y'know? Normally things are really good between us, but then all of a sudden she was so mad that I had been texting you while hanging out with her! Like, can you believe that?"

"Kind of," I said under my breath.

"What do you mean by that?"

Damn it. He heard me. "Look," I began slowly. "Carly… she really doesn't like me. Especially when I talk to you."

"Sam," he sighed. "I know you two haven't gotten along but that doesn't mean-"

"No she straight up hates me," I told him. "She practically told me so."

By the expression on his face just then, I knew that this puzzled him. "N-No," he said with a shake of his head. " You must have miss heard her."

I wanted to tell him the truth, and say that Carly had outright told me to steer clear of him. But, I knew doing that would only create even more problems for him (and ultimately me). So instead, I said, "Yeah, you're probably right."

He nodded, the problem being solved for however briefly. "So then, why wouldn't she want me texting you?"

"Maybe she, y'know, isn't comfortable with it?" I tried, hoping to lead him to the solution that I was too afraid to actually say.

"Why wouldn't she be?" he asked, before something in him clicked. "Oh, right, because of the way you…feel."

Even after the time that had passed since my confession, it was still so awkward. "Right. That."

"I mean, I guess that could be it," he told me.

"Sorry," I said quietly. I don't know why I was blaming myself. It wasn't my fault he was dating a witch, but either way, I was still part of the problem.

"No Sam," he said as he took a slight step closer to me. "Please don't think I blame you for any of this! I really don't. And Carly'll get over it soon enough."

"Okay," was all I could find to say back.

A silence fell for a minute, and neither of us knew how to fill it. It was strange to think that he used to be my very favourite person in the whole world (I mean, he still was, but in a different way). I could say, do, be anything and he never judged me. "Awkward" used to be a foreign concept between us, and now it always seemed to be lingering.

I wonder if he still considers me to be his best friend? Or has Carly now fully taken my place?

"Sam, please don't feel like I'm not going to talk to you anymore just because Carly got a little upset, okay?"

Suddenly I remembered what Carly had said to me in the hall last week, about staying away from Freddie. "Okay," I told him. "Well, you'd better go."

"I was actually hoping we could hangout?" he said with a smile.

My stomach dropped. I had waited for him to come back around and be my friend for so long. Him asking me to hangout just made it clear that he was there, and for now he wanted out friendship back too. In my mind I knew that it might mess things up with him and Carly, but a selfish place in me took over, and suddenly I didn't care. "Yeah sure, that sounds good."

We ended up walking back to Freddie's house to hangout there. The entire walk back he was receiving texts from Carly, but I noticed he didn't even bother to read any of them. Obviously he was still upset with her from their fight, and would rather spend time with me then fight anymore.

* * *

The next afternoon after school, I found myself back and Freddie's. Things were actually beginning to feel normal again, and despite Carly's threats, I was feeling like Freddie and I could get our best friendship back to the way it was. Of course I still found myself falling more in love with him every time he was around, but I told myself to swallow the feelings for the sake of us.

"I mean it!" I said in-between bursts of laughter. "You dress like a second grade nerd!"

He joined in on my laughing, before spitting a reply at me. "I do not! I just have class!"

"Please tell me one classy person who owns 400 polo shirts in every colour?" I asked with a chuckle.

"Me!"

We both burst back into laughter, but it was soon interrupted by a harsh knock at his apartment door. He stood up and I could see the bright smile on his face, and I realized how much I had seriously missed spending time with him.

He opened the door, and I saw Carly come in, carrying a worn out math textbook under her arm. "Where have you been?" she said.

"With Sam," he said, motioning to me.

Carly scanned the room to see me sitting on the couch. Damn it, I've been caught.

"I see," she said slowly, and I could tell she was trying to hold in her anger. She turned her attention back to Freddie. "I texted you a bunch last night. You were supposed to come help me study for my math test, remember?"

Freddie's face dropped. "Right! I completely forgot, I'm so sorry!"

"I'm just a little disappointed," she said with fallen eyes. "I mean, you were suppose to help me, but then you didn't show up and I failed it."

"I'm so sorry, Carly," he told her, and I knew he meant it

"Mrs. Harvey said she'd give me a retest tomorrow," she explained.

Freddie nodded quickly, moving over to grad a hold of her hand. I thought that action was not necessary in my presence, but this wasn't about me. "I'll stay up all night helping you study for it."

Carly had a soft smile on her face. "Okay."

"Sam, we can hangout later, okay?" he asked me.

"Sure," I told him, careful not to seem to eager.

"Let me go grab a coat," he said as he slightly jogged off to his room.

Carly suddenly stormed over to me. "I thought I told you to stay away from him!"

Her harsh tone surprised me, but I tried to ignore my shock. "You don't own him."

"Excuse me? I think I do. He is my boyfriend, which makes him untouchable to you," she said with a huff. "And while you two were too busy playing house, I failed my math test."

"I don't see-"

"I mean, Freddie is supposed to be making sure I pass math. Isn't that the whole point of having a smart boyfriend?" she interjected, her voice raised.

I was taken aback by that statement. "Wait, so you're only dating Freddie so he can help you pass math?"

"Well it certainly isn't because of the muscles," she said with a dry laugh. "Which are non-existent, by the way."

"So that whole innocent little nice girl thing is just an act?" I spat.

She laughed. "You catch on quickly Puckett. That was my plan when I switched schools. I mean, the only reason I did it was because I was failing so bad at my last school. So I came here, became a disgusting sweet girl, and found some worthless nerd to do all my homework for me."

"You're using my best friend!"

"Oh shut-up. Don't act like you've never done it before. I know Freddie has helped you study," she said, attempting to make a point.

"Yeah," I said. "He's helped me study before. But that's not the only reason I'm friends with him!"

She shrugged. "Same deal."

I heard Freddie's footsteps coming back, and shot a look to Carly. "What makes you think I won't tell him?"

"Because if you do," she said in a low voice. "I'll just deny it. I'll tell Freddie you are just so in love with him that you needed to destroy our relationship. You know he'll believe me. He'll hate you forever for trying to sabotage us. And I know you don't want to lose your friendship with him."

My face fell, because the sad thing is, I knew she was right.

Freddie turned back up, and gave me a smile. "I'll call you in the morning, we can walk to school together."

I had just taken in too much information to even process any words. I simply nodded, and watched Freddie and Carly leave his apartment, leaving me alone, to attempt to make sense of anything I had just heard.

* * *

**I legit didn't proof read a word of this, so sorry for all the grammar mistakes!**


	12. Twelve

**I honestly have no explanation for my lateness this time. I am sorry, really. **

**I actually wrote this chapter in my Worlds Religion class instead of watching a movie about Hinduism. This well reflects how productive I am in school…**

**But this is the last official chapter! (I just have an epilogue). And, although I found it hard to continue at some points, I really enjoyed writing this story. And I hope you liked reading it! **

* * *

If You Were Me

_By ForTheWin04_

Chapter 12

* * *

How was I supposed to live through this?

Seeing Freddie with Carly was hard enough when I knew the relationship had potential to make him happy, but now that I knew Carly's true feelings towards him, it had become unbearable. I wished over and over that I could tell him, but I knew Carly was right when she told me that he would believe her over me. It was a fact I had trouble accepting, but I knew inside me that it was true. Freddie had thrown so much trust into Carly, that it was nearly impossible to see him not only believing me, but accepting that fact and being able to move on. I mean, telling him was one thing. But watching it break his heart was another.

I often find myself thinking about what Cameron told me at Carter's party a few weeks ago - Freddie was seen by our peers as being a guy who was in love with me. It was still hard to picture him that way, and I often considered that every one else was mistaken. However, the more I looked into the situation, the more I realized that there was a high chance of it being true. With that being said, it brought up far too many questions that I couldn't even begin to fathom answers to. When did he get over me? Did he try to use Carly to replace me? Did he ever even like me?

Currently, it is hard to believe so. Especially with his tongue so far down Carly's throat. I know I shouldn't be watching them, but it's almost hard not to. It's like I'm drawn to them, needing to watch the situation for myself. A few of the girls from football are having a small get-together to celebrate winning the final game of the season. I asked Freddie to come with me, and he insisted on bringing Carly. Clearly his attention was paid far more to her than to me. Normally, this would have only hurt my heart - seeing them together. But, now, it hurt almost everything inside of me. Freddie was in a relationship that was a complete joke to the other member. And the saddest part is that I've never seen him so happy before. I don't just feel bad for myself anymore, I feel bad for him.

I knew I hated Carly for a reason.

They finally came up for air and I feel slight relief to see them separate. "Must suck," I heard from behind me.

I turned to see Cameron standing behind me, peering over my shoulder to also view Carly and Freddie. "What do you mean?" I asked, playing dumb.

"Duh," she exclaimed like it was extremely obvious. "Watching him be all over her. Especially when you like him so much."

I shrugged. "Yeah, I guess."

She nodded like she understood, even though I knew she had no idea. "Hang in there," she assured me.

I sighed. "You wouldn't be able to say that so easily if you were _me_."

* * *

My hand reached up to knock on the apartment door, but, for the fourth time, I pulled it back to rest at my side. I had been standing in the hallway of floor eight, that I'm surprised no one has questioned my presence. So many thoughts have been passing through my mind that I think I've gone insane. I've never kept anything from Freddie, and a secret that would change a huge part of his life is hard to keep to myself. However, telling him would really hurt him, and might ruin our friendship. It would be an understatement to say I'm torn.

A large part of me knows, however, that he does deserve to know the truth, no matter what the consequence. So I raised my knuckles - fifth time - to knock. Only this time, my fist connected with the door. The sound of the knocking rang in my ears and I soon regretted my decision. I almost came to the conclusion of running away, when the door was pulled aside. "Sam," Freddie said cheerfully. "What're you doing here? I just rented a movie, come in!"

I saw an escape. I could easily have taken him up on his offer, and forget that I ever thought of sharing Carly's secret. But I knew it had to be done, and it was now or never. "I don't think I can," I informed him. "I actually have something to tell you."

"Is everything aright?" he asked, concerned with me.

"You trust me, don't you Freddie? I mean you know I would never lie to you for my own benefit, right?"

"Of course," he replied.

"So you'll believe me when I tell you this no matter how crazy it sounds?" I asked slowly. I could feel my palms sweating, and my heart beat beginning to speed up.

"Sam, you're scaring me."

I inhaled. "Carly told me something a few weeks ago-"

"Sam," he interrupted. "Please don't bring Carly into this. I feel like we let my relationship effect our friendship too much."

"No," I told him. "This is important." He didn't say anything else, so I figured he'd let me continue. "Carly…well, she doesn't really like you."

Everything in his face fell. "…what?"

"She told me," I began again, slowly. "That she is just using you to get good grades. Her sweet attitude is fake. She has everyone fooled!"

"T-That's not true…" he stuttered out.

I shook my head. "It is," I whispered. "I'm sorry I had to be the one to tell you, but-"

"That can't be true," he said again.

"I'm sorry Freddie. I know this is going to sound bad, but she told me that if I told you anything, she would deny it and say I made it all up because I like you so much. But you have to know that I would never do that to you, no matter what I feel. You mean way too much for me to ever do that."

"There has to be some kind of mistake," Freddie said. "I want to believe you, but how could Carly do that to me? I trusted her!"

"I know you did," I told him softly. "I'm sorry she turned out to be so awful."

His face fell into his palms. "I can't believe this," he said, lifting his head again. "I mean, am I that much of a loser that she would only date me to get better grades? How could a person do that? God damn, I'm such an idiot!"

"That's not true Freddie-"

"Yes it is!" he exclaimed. "I can't do anything right! I'm such a nerd, it's like I have a disease or something."

"Where have you been?" I said as I took a step closer to him. "I certainly don't think that of you. I mean, god, I've been in love with you since the beginning of the school year…" I trailed off. "And I know you used to like me, too. My friend Cameron told me."

His face fell. "Sam," he said before engulfing me in a hug. "You mean so much to me. I just forgot for a while."

For a moment, I wasn't quite sure what he meant by this. He pulled back and looked me in the eyes. "I'm sorry I've been such a bad friend this year," he told me. "I've just been so confused."

"It's okay, I haven't been perfect either," I admitted.

"Yes you have," he breathed. "You've always been perfect."

He took that opportunity to lean down and kiss me. This moment had been anticipated in my head for so long, ever since our lips first encountered months before. It turned out to be better than I had been imagining. This kiss was better than the last, simply because I knew it was because he wanted to kiss me. It was a fulfilment of emotional contact, not physical. I could feel his emotions pouring into me through this kiss, and I wondered if Carly ever felt that. He reluctantly pulled away and looked back into my eyes. "I'm sorry," he breathed out. "Y'know I got so used to no one loving me back. When I met Carly I felt like someone finally could. But I guess a part of me was always replacing you. And now I've put you through so much this year."

"Yeah," I teased. "A bit."

"I had just liked you for so long. Meeting Carly made me feel like I could forget about my feelings for you. She was the opposite of you and I thought she might be a good chance to finally be happy in love. And, you know, for a while she did fill the hole in my heart. But then I saw how miserable you were getting, and you told me that you liked me, and all these old feelings came rushing back. It was hard to look at you without wanting to be with you, and knowing you wanted it too made it really confusing. So I tried to sort it out by diving myself into my relationship with Carly, hoping my feelings would go away again. So I stopped talking to you and it did help for a bit. But I always ended up finding a way back to you."

Every part of me was in shock, and I couldn't believe a word I was hearing. My brain couldn't fathom any words, so I just smiled at him.

"I'm sorry for putting you through that mess," he told me. "Can we just, start over."

Slowly, words returned. "Yeah," I said. "Let's start over."

And for the second time that afternoon, his lips captured mine. I never thought a moment could be so perfect, but I swear, when he kissed me, all the stars aligned.

**END**

* * *

**I can't believe its the end! I will miss this story! Thank you SO SO SO SO much for reading this story, and sticking it out even when I took 752475208375802737 years to upload a chapter. I think this story really developed me as a writer and I love it to pieces. **

**Epilogue will be a thing though! I will try and get that out really really soon! **

**I love every one who has ever read a word of this story - literally, you are the best. **

**It's funny - the entire inspiration for this story was Sam seeing Carly and Freddie kissing and having a friend say "Oh everything will be okay." To which Sam replies "You wouldn't be saying that if you were me." And in this chapter, I don't think that had as much of an impact as I wanted it to. But, the title of the story has been included and (somewhat) explained. **

**I love you all! Review and tell me what you thought of the ending! **

**xoxoxoxoxox, ForTheWin04 **


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